Darnell's Top Ten

Top Ten Favorites of Christmas 2010:

10. White Christmas – Yes, it’s #10 and lucky to even have made it on the list. It pretty much made the cut because the significance of snow falling, on Christmas, in South Carolina is huge. Apparently it was the first time in 47 years so I guess it deserves a spot, even if it’s dead last. If you were one of the many thrilled with this event, I’m happy for you. Really. I know it’s not something that happens every day so enjoy it. I just happen to have different memories. Memories of many a winter in the Midwest where we were immobolized with snow. NOT FUN. I couldn’t wait to get away from those harsh climates so obviously I'm not thrilled when they show up in the South. In fact, last year we were stuck in a blizzard in Missouri and coming home was no easy feat {as if it isn’t hard enough with good weather when you’re driving 14 hours with 3 small children}. Fortunately, my boys have a ‘big brother’ for a father, who couldn't hardly wait to get them outside yesterday, only to pound them with snowballs. No, I am quite content to watch from the kitchen window with my warm cup of coffee in one hand and a piece of pie in the other.

9. Gifts – Guess I should clarify. This means my gifts. The ones for me. I would say the ones given to me but that wouldn’t be completely accurate. I did purchase a new pair of shoes for myself just days before Christmas after a sweet friend convinced me I would love them and wear them all the time. I have to admit that she was right. Today is the first day I haven’t worn them in a week. They just go with everything. Six months ago, I hadn’t heard of Danskos. Now I wish I had every color in the rainbow. One day that darn money tree is going to find its way to Birchleaf Lane. I also received awesome gifts from my brother, in-laws and especially from my thoughtful husband. I sent him the link to this necklace months ago and totally forgot about it. Luckily he didn’t! I was so surprised! It’s one more thing I’ve worn daily since I’ve opened it.



8. Travel-Free – Beyond a 30 minute drive to Woodruff for Christmas dinner, we did no traveling this Christmas and it was wonderful. Less stress + quality time = happy little family. Sure beats having to plow through 4ft snowdrifts just to get out of the driveway and head home like last year {see above-not bitter}. We may be on to something with this no-travel thing. We had a nice, big Christmas Eve dinner, made reindeer food, left snacks, opened one present and went right down to sleep with the visions of sugar cookies. Cookies, plums, it's all relative.

7. Forever Friends – I’m not going to lie. I have the BEST group of friends. Old ones, new ones – I am so very, very blessed to have each of you in my life. Whether I got an email, a text, a Christmas card or a big, pink surprise, I just want to thank you all for being in my life and loving me and my family the way that you do. I’m a lucky girl for sure.

6. Homeless Friends – I've mentioned in previous posts that we help feed the homeless, particularly on the 4th Saturday of every month. It just so happened that the 4th Saturday of December was Christmas Day! There is no greater feeling in the world than serving those less fortunate with the family on Jesus' birthday. We served a hearty Christmas dinner and met many needs that day. Thanks to everyone who donated and/or served and helped make this possible. Though the volume of homeless friends was lower than usual, it was to be expected in the snowy conditions.

*Two newsworthy notes –

a) We had put our boys in the van to watch a movie, due to the cold temps and precipitation. All was fine, until the blessing of the meal. We were all joined in a circle, listening as the man prayed over the food, when we hear ‘HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.’ Of course it was my child. Of course it was during the only silent time of the afternoon. Of course. d1 will tell you that he was just helping one of the other kids out – she had to use the bathroom and he felt it was his job to notify someone. I guess I should be glad that ‘HEY’ was all he shouted instead of ‘Hey, Alexa has to go #2!’ Speaking of potty…..

b) After we wrapped up the feeding and were getting ready to drive away to the family dinner, d1 tells us that he badly has to go. We are in the ghetto of Greenville, on Christmas Day, at 5:30. Our options are limited. We did what we had to do. We emptied out a water bottle and used it as a makeshift urinal. Somehow I drew the short stick and got to hold the bottle. Something went terribly wrong and the urinal ‘leaked.’ Merry Christmas to me. I tried to not freak out and, in hindsight, I’m not sure why I did but I did. I mean, it’s not like it hasn’t happened before. I have three boys. I've been showered many times during diaper duty and poop is a permanent fixture in our home. Poor kid - he just kept saying, 'Sorry, Mommy.' Guess I had just hoped to make it to dinner without stinking.....obviously a far fetched dream.

5. My brother – My baby brother{ok, so he is 24 years old} made the very long drive to spend Christmas with us and it was a wonderful visit. We had a few laughs with ‘Little Fockers,’ ate Japanese food, played some Monopoly and just hung out. The boys really enjoyed spending time with Adam, too! He even managed to add yet one more weapon to our household collection with a medieval-style gun. He says it was essential in capturing the dragon. Ok but guess what? These heathens have NO desire to capture a dragon. The dragon has played no part in their twisted fun. The dragon is likely buried somewhere in the play room rubble. Their only desire is to tag Momma D in the back of the head while I’m in the kitchen. I literally need eyes back there. That or a full body shield.



4. d3 – The littlest d-man seemed to really enjoy himself this Christmas. We had a hard time shopping for him this year – what do you get the kid whose brothers have everything? I can’t justify buying him something that we already have, especially when he would be totally content with a box of Teddy Grahams and a spatula. Needless to say, our gifts to him were minimal but others made up for it. Grandma S got him a Cozy Coupe and Grandpa D got him his own rocking horse, both of which he loved. We did buy him a few new books, my favorite being 'Everyone Poops.' I can't even say the title without giggling, which only means one of two things: a) I was destined to be on the all-boys team or b) My mind has been corrupted.





3. d2 – According to my little guy, ‘I want a Woody since I already have a Buzz.’ His words, not mine, to Santa. And Santa didn’t let him down. Unfortunately, we may have taken the boys to see Santa a little too early this year because d2’s requests slowly changed from Woody to a flashlight to a basketball goal to a DS. We had to explain that Santa doesn’t have ESP and that he can’t change his mind after the fact. He seemed to be okay with that. Note to self: Don’t visit Santa in October. Note to retailers: Don’t hire Santa in October. d2’s other favorite gift? A Radio Flyer wheelbarrow. It’s cute and will be even cuter when D1 makes a spot for it in the already over-crowded garage and out of the kitchen. I don't find it cute that d2 wants to haul trash in his wheelbarrow when the trash is from the trash can. d2 was especially fond of the fact that Santa left his toy bag at our house.





2. d1 – This boy was crazy excited for Santa to come this year. With him, there were no changes in his toy request. It’s been the same all along. He wanted a Dairy Queen blizzard maker. Is anyone shocked here? Good thing Mommy Santa shopped Target one random day in November and nabbed the last one. Those things were hot commodities. He also scored a Nintendo DS and a few fun games. d1 was thrilled that Santa wrote a note back to them and left it by the cookies. The animated look that d1 and d2 had on their face was priceless....




I added this picture because this NEVER happens. They NEVER play together in harmony. EVER.

Last but certainly not least -

1. Savior’s birth – ‘Remember the Reason for the Season.’ Though many say it, I wonder how many actually ‘get’ it, how many truly understand why we celebrate CHRISTmas. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the giving of gifts, as long as one understands that we give gifts because a gift was given to us, in the form of a baby boy, born in a manger. He came to Earth for one reason – to die. Because He died, we live. Listen, my life is not perfect. I struggle in so many areas. Most days are far from fun. Just because I have a relationship with Jesus does not mean I will not have hard times. However, I am covered in God’s grace and I know that I am promised an eternal life with the One who knows me best, who created me. That is what keeps me going when I feel like giving up. That is the hope I have found in my Redeemer. There's power in that gift.


Merry Christmas from the Darnell's!


This was the picture that should have been on the Christmas card - except with us all wearing matching scarves and gazing at each other with love and adoration.

Ode to My Fellow Publix Shopper

To the lady with whom I did not get the pleasure of formally meeting, I apologize. Oh wait. That's right. I did apologize. Several times, actually, as I was picking your boxes of Stove Top & Immodium up off of the floor. {Which, by the way, that was a lot of Immodium - are we planning on contracting the flu or.....?} It may have been hard to hear over the whines and shouts of 'Mom-EE' and 'I can't get the lid off of these peanuts...' but I really and truly am sorry that my buggy took yours out in the pharmacy department of Publix. I thought I could make that turn but these beastly carts just aren't made for that type of maneuvering and you happened to be in the middle of the aisle in my path and so I am very sorry. We've had plenty of grocery store mishaps but this was a first, if you can believe that. I didn't really think I had any of those left.

After I cleaned up your buggy and hurried off in shame, I bet I can guess what you were thinking. Probably what everyone else in the store was thinking. Why on earth would this loon bring her children {all clearly hungry and overstimulated} into a grocery store at dinner time? There couldn't possibly be anything worth that much stress to self and society. But then you would be mistaken. It's Wednesday, of course. Wednesday + Publix = PENNY ITEM. Unless the item is pet food or sardines, I'm not passing it up. And today's item happened to be a staple in our house - cereal. Or so that's what they started the day with. I soon found out that they ran low and decided to switch it to coffee. After some conversation, they agreed to let me swap Publix-brand frosted flakes for the coffee. So maybe it wasn't so much my petitioning. Maybe it was because d2 and d3 were in the process of opening a pack of Rolos and they wanted me to take control of the situation that they allowed the substitution. Either way, I was grateful. I decided not to mention the fact that I had already meal planned around the crushed cornflakes. I know to take the victories where you can. I also scored a few good deals on cookie dough, toothpaste, pasta and the aforementioned peanuts, thanks to my handy dandy coupons. For me, the trip was productive. Hope yours was as well.


Please find it in your heart to forgive us. We are just trying to get the most bang for our buck. Ok, when I say we , maybe I have a mouse in my pocket. These kids don't really grasp the idea of being frugal but, right now, we have one in diapers, two in year-round athletics and all three in ongoing growth spurts. I have no choice but to cut corners {literally, it appears} to stop the bleeding on our budget. As much as I do try and take care of such matters without said children, sometimes it's just not possible. I would promise that this won't happen again but the only way I could keep that promise is if you start doing all your grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. Otherwise, until next time, lady.....

The Inner Most Fears of a First Grade Lad

Before I share the fears, I think you should know that today might have been one of the most challenging days I've had in a long time. I should have known the moment I got out of the car this morning and the wind nearly knocked me over. Seriously? This is SOUTH CAROLINA! One of the many reasons I desired to live in this region was to get away from the arctic blasts so why must you follow me? The rest of my day was pretty typical {except I was treated to lunch by a sweet friend and rockin' preschool minister - thanks R!}. However, the moment I changed roles from professional to parent at 4pm, it all seemed to go down hill. I left work with the little boys and headed to pick d1 up from afterschool. I went in to get him and the workers used their walkie talkies to call for him. I waited. And waited. And waited. Um, should we check the batteries on these things? Do you actually know where my kid is? I mean, what's the malfunction here? And while I waited, I kept an eye on the other two in the car. They were fine for the first minute or so. Then I witnessed d2 attempting to suffocate d3 with one of my reusable shopping bags and there was just not much I could do about it. Sure, I waved my arms and yelled 'STOP' but he couldn't hear me with the car windows up and the 60mph wind gusts. He just waved back. Thankfully, d1 finally appeared and we went on our merry little way but this small delay set us back on our schedule and, on Monday nights, we have no wiggle room as it is. Fortunately, I made dinner last night so that all we had to do was warm it up. And yet somehow we still ran out of time. I walked in the house at 5:00, heated up the chili cheese pie, packed some snacks, wiped a counter or two, pleaded with d2 to eat a few bites, cleaned up d3, gave in and scooped all of d2's dinner into d1's bowl for his seconds, grabbed a diaper and walked out of the house at 5:15 for practice. All without ever removing my coat or heels. I usually have at least a minute to change myself into jeans and tennies but not today. This proves to be a significant detail that I will never again overlook. That practice was the longest hour of my life. In heels. d3 was OVER the snacks after the first 15 minutes and wanted only to be on the court. In all my efforts to keep him out of harms way, I really can't believe I never fell. I'm not that graceful to begin with so adding a few inches on a waxed floor is really not a great combination for this clutz. I'm happy to report that we had no injuries....at least, not to this point.

On our drive home, I was ROLLING with laughter at our conversation....

d1: Tomorrow is our field trip to Oakleaf Village. I need to dress nice. It's for the old people. They like us to look clean.

Me: Maybe you shouldn't call them 'old people.' It might hurt their feelings.

d1: Yeah, I know. That's what Mrs. Hegwood said. She also told us that we can't ask why they live there. And if they're in a wheelchair, we can't ask about it. And if they don't have husbands, we can't ask why.

Me: It's probably best that you follow these rules.

d1: I know. I'll try. We made them stockings today and put candy in them. Except no Laffy Taffy. Did you know that if they eat Laffy Taffy, their teeth will fall out? Why won't it pull my loose tooth out?

Me: We'll talk about that later.

d1: But Mommy, Mrs. Hegwood also said we can't ask about their skin. {in a very serious tone and slight whisper} I'm afraid she means that the old people have moles and you know how I'm scared of moles. What if they try to touch me? I might cry.


What exactly does a mother say to that? Obviously I wanted to validate his feelings but I couldn't help but burst out in laughter. Poor kid. I can't even be his confidante because I'm too busy giggling. Not at him, just at his freakish fears, totally inherited from his father's side.

I got home, put the boys to bed and did some prep on our homeless feeding for tomorrow. So what if, in the process of cleaning up the kitchen, I smacked my head on my HARD granite counter and fell to the floor in writhing pain? No blood, just a small lump and one giant headache. Maybe it was payback for laughing at the boy.....

Oh, and one more thing. I know that I use a lot of humor on my blog and it's all in good fun. I do find it especially entertaining when D1 is the focal point but in all seriousness, I LOVE my life. Really and truly love it. I chose this life of being a career mom and I wouldn't change a thing. Even on chaotic days like these, I love what has been given to me! Just the other night, I went grocery shopping with d3 and as we were walking into Publix, an elderly lady {maybe that's the term d1 should go with tomorrow} stopped me and said, 'Did you know that this is the best time of your life?' Yes, it is.

Guilty

Yes, I am absolutely a fan of bribing my child if it means he does what I ask. At this age, it works like a charm, especially if the reward is edible. I mean, just take a look at his belly.....





For the record, he does willingly eat his green vegetables. Don't blame him for responding to a treat. Would you comply if someone bribed you with broccoli? No, you wouldn't.

Classy Christmas Two-Thousand-And-Ten

Earlier this week, we mailed off our Christmas cards. If you haven't received it yet, please don't hate me. I'm sure there's an explanation. It's always possible that the mail man lost it.....or I just plain forgot. The latter is definitely the most likely. {sigh}

This is our first year in a house with a real mantle and a real tree. When we discussed the photo for our cards, I envisioned three boys in coordinating sweater vests by the fire and spilling sipping hot cocoa. Clearly, D1 had a different idea. And so this is what marriage is all about. Choosing battles. After all, I did veto inflatable St. Nick. I had to give the poor guy something to live for. Even if that means that my boys' dignities were forever compromised.

Below are a few pictures that didn't quite measure up. Could it be the violent nature of the picture? We clearly went in the direction of comical instead of classy this year.








{The weapons in the pictures were presents from Grandma S, opened just minutes before the shoot for the sole purpose of the picture. They have since been confiscated and now sit on top of the refrigerator. Oh and P.S. - NERF swords and axes DO hurt and WILL leave bruises. I.HATE.THEM. No, really. I have serious anger issues with these toys.}


And below lies 'the one.'





Just be thankful I was able to keep D1 out of the picture. It wasn't easy. Good thing the battery died before he could find his cape and boots, buried somewhere in the closet.

Living in a Fantasy World

For the last few days, the big question was 'will he or won't he?' Will D1 make the playoffs or won't he? Now don't be misled. When I say playoffs, I'm not referring to his basketball team {because everyone knows basketball doesn't have playoffs*}. I'm talking about fantasy football, people. This is not some monumental accomplishment, either. Okay, so maybe it is to him. Perhaps, in some way, he sees it as a reflection of his superior drafting and management skills. In any case, he lost this week. By one point. So now his season is officially over and when he told me, I really did try to find some kind words but nothing came out. I just couldn't muster any sympathetic words so opted with nothing at all because, in all honesty, I'm a tiny, smidgy-widgy bit happy. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing my spouse experience victory and I know he enjoys the competition. Hey, I played FF with 'the guys' for a couple of years myself {yes, I drafted Brady AND Manning, back-to-back....some would say not the 'smartest' move but I'm a GIRL - the choice was quite easy} so I know it can be fun. However, I could still function after a loss. With D1, it's not quite the same. If Michael Vick throws an interception, you'd think the world was coming to an end. Or if the ball gets handed off in a run play instead of passing to one of his receivers {thus resulting in less points}, he acts like someone just stole his lunch money. I know it's a difficult concept to grasp but I don't think Ochocinco wakes up every Sunday morning and says to himself, 'I wonder how many fantasy points Dallas Darnell needs this week to beat his opponent. I'll be sure to do my best, just for him.' And I know this is where his competitive nature comes into play. This same nature is why we had to ban Madden '03 on PlayStation from this household FOREVER. There are plenty of stories behind that but saved for a later date. Some of you reading will need no explanation. You have fond memories. For now, I'll enjoy Sunday afternoons with my husband and try to console my love during his time of 'loss.' No pun intended. Oh, who are we kidding? I think I just snorted.

*ETA - I should add that there was not such a thing as playoffs in high school basketball but rather districts, semi-finals, finals, etc. And that was in Missouri. Maybe these Southern schools are different. Maybe this matters to no one but myself but I am what some might call a perfectionist and I would also hate for you to be misinformed, especially since it is imperative you know the correct terminology....

ShutterFly Special

Naughty Or Nice Christmas Card

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Shutterfly is offering a $25 gift certificate to bloggers who post a Shutterfly project so, though this is not likely our Christmas card {ok, the actual card is PERFECT but the picture will be different}, I am all about the free $25 as I expect my final order will be in need of some monetary assistance so there's the reason for this random picture. Go here if you want to do the same. Free is free, people!

Side note: all this computer programming terminology has my head spinning circles. The term 'embedding' gave me an anxious feeling and I had to Google what in the world it meant. I didn't realize how technically challenged I was until this very moment. Hmmph.

Reality Check

Last weekend we ventured to the mall for our annual visit to Santa. The visit where our boys sit on his lap for 45 seconds, rattle off all the goodies on their wish list, smile for the camera, grab the candy cane on the way out and wave good-bye to our hard-earned $25. Oh that's right, we did get the 5x7 photo for our blinking Santa frame. Keepin' it classy.

Speaking of classy and Christmas, I'm curious if I'm being too harsh on my husband and would love to hear some honest feedback. I'm really not sure where to begin, though. Let's just say that if I were to allow him total creative freedom when it comes to decorating for Christmas {or really any holiday, for that matter}, our house would win tackiest in Greenville County. No, really. There would be NO question. Clark would be put to shame. This is our 11th Christmas together and only the first time I've agreed to a real tree. Now, I have nothing against real trees, per se. I've just always heard they are messy and a fire hazard. Clearly I need nothing else to pick up after and am not looking to burn down the new crib but I compromised this year {with the understanding that we have white lights} and ta-da! We have our first real tree. Though it wasn't an excursion to cut one down in 4 feet of snow, D1, d1 and d2 picked a great one out {courtesy of Food Lion}.




I'll be the first to admit that it looks great. My poor pre-lit is probably so lonely and confused in the garage but the real tree really is gorgeous and smells so fresh. And the best part? I haven't seen one pine needle on the floor in a week. I'm probably getting my hopes up but if that's the case, let me live in my fantasy bubble. We did get a tip to 'water' the tree with 7-Up to help with the shedding and so far, so good.

Now back to the decorating style in question. As the boys are trimming the tree, I'm going behind them and merely assisting by moving the ornaments around to have an even distribution. While doing this, I notice a few that were hung that should have been in the trash years ago. An example? A brass Wal-Mart truck ornament. I believe this was my Christmas gift as an employee in college from good ole' Wally World. Thanks, Sam. You really went all out. Now, I did enjoy my job as a pharmacy tech but I have no desire to dangle the 18-wheeler from my tree, all these years later. Off you go. That's just one of many randoms I removed but the point is that D1 thinks the tree has to have EVERYTHING on it. No matter how old, how irrelevant, he thinks it belongs. And then the next day he really sent me over the edge. He ran to the store for a few last minute items for Thanksgiving and came back with....{gasp!}.....icicles for the tree. Really? Really! I mean, I really thought our tree looked great and now we're just cluttering it up with crap? I will admit, this is when I cried. It was totally the stress of hosting a dinner for almost 20 people that night that made me cry, but I think the icicles did me in. I know, self-proclaimed mess, remember? It wasn't one of my better moments but it did keep D1 from opening the second box.....

I think I'll leave it at that for decorating disasters. I won't start in on the inflatable St. Nick or the life-size plastic nativity set but I think those are self-explanatory {and for the record, NOT in my yard.} Needless to say, when a holiday comes around that could be depicted as one with decor, we tend to disagree on what is classy and what is trashy. He thinks that since we have kids, bigger and brighter are the only ways to go and if we don't, we're cheating them. I disagree. Where my girls at on this one? Am I wrong? I can take an honest opinion. I have been known to be wrong a time or two.

As I'm proofreading the above, I realize my title has nothing to do with what I've written but that's because, like always, I fluttered off on a tangent. There was a different direction I was going. Ah, yes. So, while at the mall after said portrait was taken, we did a little Christmas shopping. I wondered into Aeropostale and found a few gifts. This was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and they still had killer sales and I noticed a rack of cute signature t's for $7 and a super cute, hot pink one was just calling my name. Let me just say that I haven't shopped in this store for myself since college but it was a great price and I can always use some pink in my life so I flipped through the stack, grabbed a medium, decided to go with a large.....just in case it had serious shrinkage....but really thought it would be too big. Yes, I should have tried it on but 1) the entire brood was standing outside the door of the store, giving me 'the' look and 2) I just don't try clothes on. I really have no other reason other than I don't want to take the time. I definitely should have overlooked the stares and tried the shirt on because O.M.G. I put it on that night to go out for pizza and almost couldn't breathe. I was so confused. I still wonder if the company misprinted these labels because this was ri-donk-ulous. Maybe this was the reason for the $7 price tag. And so one would think with as tight as it was that maybe it would suck me in, right? You know, like a corset? Nope. Opposite, rather. It pushed every inch of my pudgy midline straight out front. You know those toothpaste contraptions that squeezes all the paste out? My shirt was a human form of that contraption. I am surprised I didn't hear the infamous 'When are you due?' line from some stranger while we were out. So there. My reality check. I'm old and I can no longer shop in Aeropostale. Ever. Perhaps they could post a sign outside their door that warns us. It could save some mental anguish. Maybe something like 'This store is only for individuals ages 14-15, sizes 0-2P. All others may proceed to the local JCPenney's for moccassins and moo-moo's.'

I probably should have just re-titled the post but I remember how I felt last week and I was all fired up. At who, I'm not sure but I know I was.

And some random funnies before I hit the hay. At 9pm. And there it is. It's not just the clothes that affirm I'm an old hag. I am going to bed at 9 AND I said 'hit the hay.'


d2 - 'Why do they call it a belly button?'
Me - 'I don't know. Maybe because it's round, like a button.'
d2 - 'No, that's silly. I think it's because it connects our belly to our butt.'


d2 - 'Daddy, who's your husband?'
D1 - {snickers} 'You'
d1 - 'No, he doesn't have a husband. He has Mommy. She's his woman.'

Guess that was my chance to teach them my real title in this house.

Queen.