Oh, Spring Break! How I Love Thee!

It is FINALLY Spring Break in Greenville County and I emphasize ‘FINALLY’ because it feels like it took forever to get here. You would think my excitement would be related to a fabulous vacation but, alas, it does not have anything to do with being away from home. Just the opposite, actually. I am thrilled to pieces that we will be spending more time at home this week than we have the last few months. You see, Greer Rec and the YMCA also celebrate Spring Break which means no baseball practices, no soccer games, nothing. Sure, it equates to more backyard baseball where I tend to endure some physical pain but, in comparison, it is totally worth it. Though most of the craziness is attributed to the busy schedules of our little athletes, I’m also enjoying a break from packing lunches, writing checks for t-shirts, signing field trip forms, and all the other ‘fun’ stuff that comes with having children in school. How’s that for easy-to-please? I don’t need to be on a cruise to enjoy this observed school holiday. I can be perfectly content with a break from life…..

This short pause really couldn’t have come at a better time for me personally. I know that my ‘full plate’ is nobody’s fault but my own but WHEW. The month of April has been brutal so I’m hoping that May brings a bit less chaos. We’ve had school cook-outs, birthday parties, school plays, Easter Egg Hunts, CareGroup dinners, bible studies, children's shelter.....and it’s only the 19th of the month with a few more activities left to round out April, including an Easter weekend homeless feeding. In between attending all of the above AND the twice-a-week sporting events, I’ve been working on some articles for our church that I need to finish by the end of the month. I am both excited and flattered to be given the opportunity to serve the Lord in a new capacity and want to give it my absolute all but it has taken some extra time-management skills on my part to work it in this busy schedule. Oh and remember my testimony? We filmed it yesterday. On camera. After a couple weeks of editing my story, I spent 3.5 hours in the studio with the fabulous Alex Reynolds at TFBC and I’m excited to see his stellar skills pulling it all together……stay tuned for the final product.

This post is really not a grumble. I hope it doesn’t sound that way. For those of you who have been asking me when I’m going to post the latest ‘funny’ on my blog, I wanted you to know that it’s not because I’m phasing out of the blogging business. {oh wait, business might imply that I earn money....PSA - I do NOT}. And it’s definitely NOT from lack of material because the boys would never allow that to happen. I love blogging and would write all day long if I could. For now, I’m trying to evaluate and prioritize my to-do list the way Jesus might. Serving the homeless, sharing my story and spending time with the fam? I have a feeling He might concur. If it means I’m a little more scatter-brained and watch a little less TV, I’m okay with that. It's all relative in the grand scheme of eternity....

**PS - Thank you, D1, for being so supportive and encouraging this month. You are amazing!

**PPS - I have plenty of funny stories from the little d's. Just ask me. Especially after a trip to Pizza Inn on Senior Citizen night.....

Never Say Never

Today I used my lunch hour to run some errands. Bank, gas station, Goodwill - you know, the exciting stuff. Until today, the only thing I did at Goodwill was deliver my junk. Today, I tried out a different verb at Goodwill, one I never thought I would – I shopped . And you know something? It was pretty sweet.

As a girl, I have memories of my mom shopping Goodwill and Salvation Army for our clothes. Now, I would like to think that I got my thrill of bargain hunting from her and that she was simply trying to get the best deal so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt but, nonetheless, it was embarrassing. Maybe this was another ‘vow’ to myself that I would never be to a level in life that we had to shop at thrift stores. Shallow, I know. What’s so awesome is that I don’t have to shop here but now I want to shop here. It may take a little longer to weed through the inventory but God has provided for us so tremendously and I really want to be a good steward of his provisions. I don’t know why I ever thought that I was above shopping at these types of places. I have no problem getting free food from couponing and enjoy a good consignment sale but, for some reason, I felt this was different.

I'm not sure but I think I'm being taught some level of humility {except is it humility if I admit humility?}. I’ve mentioned my bible study and how convicting it is in all areas, this being one. I also think the stage that my boys are in right now is helping further this desire to not throw away spend large amounts of money on clothing that they will inevitably ruin. I’m not only saving money, I’m saving Mommy a few meltdowns every time I see a new stain or hole in the pants. Maybe it will help me to just ‘let them be’ a little more, knowing that those pants only cost $3, not $30. Right now, when I see a new hole, I have a burning desire to find one of their favorite balls and put a hole in it except I probably bought that toy, too and, they have a gazillion balls and probably wouldn't give a flip.

Allow me to share my deals. I am way excited - can you tell? I mean, we had to know I would get to this point. I’ve conquered Publix and CVS {and still get a total thrill from walking out of both stores with oodles of deals!} so thrift stores had to be somewhere in the progressive path of frugality.

Here we go. Yes, I'm noting the brands because, yes, I’m a brand snob. I’m dealing with one flaw at a time:

d1 jeans {Old Navy cargo}
d1 polo shirt {Target}
D1 khaki cargo shorts {Old Navy} x 2
D2 {that’s me!} dressy top {NY&Co}

So, if you were paying attention, I left with 5 {FIVE} like-new items for a grand total of $16.62! If I would have gone to Target, even on the clearance racks, no way could I have left without paying at least twice that amount. What's even better is that the proceeds are used to help individuals and families in obtaining employment and assisting in several other ways. This lines right up with our heart for the homeless and our hope and desire for them to break the vicious cycle. As I write this, we are working with church staff in developing a church-wide outreach beyond monthly feedings that we hope will ultimately changes lives. Amazing how His plan continues to unfold in such simple ways.

All this to say – give peace, er, Goodwill a chance……

GOAL!

Last night was d2's first soccer game. Turns out he's pretty awesome. He scored 5 goals and looked super cute in his uniform. What? It's relevant. I want him to look good as he's running over his opponents. We even figured out the socks this time.....


What happened to my little boy? Does he not look like he's 12 years old here? Geez Louise.



Taking it to the goal


Is he trash talking in this picture? It sort of looks like it but I know my son would never do such a thing. I know my son would never dream of running his mouth during a competitive sport. I know his daddy taught him better.


We loved watching d2 excel and just have fun but we also enjoyed seeing d1 get fired up for his little brother. He ran up and down the sidelines, cheering him on as he dominated the game. They have their moments where they seem to despise each other but to see the pride that d1 had for d2 last night just warmed my heart.

The other brother was, however, not as thrilled to be a spectator. His only interests were running off to the mud puddles and moving the boundary cones off of the field. I can see now that between d2's soccer games and d1's baseball games, it's going to be a long season with the chunky little feller. However, I have a strategy for tomorrow night's game. Oh, and it's a good one. I'm not going to feed him dinner. Yes, you read that right. I am going to withhold his meal at home and then take it with us to the ball field, in hopes that he becomes famished and wants nothing more than to eat it DURING THE GAME. Maybe that's a bit excessive but if it works, I will have no shame. In fact, if it works, I will feel quite proud of myself for thinking up such a cruel genius plan. Until you've chased children around a busy park, thus missing the other child's at-bat or double play, you wouldn't understand. I can recall many a time this past basketball season when, after the game, d1 would say, 'Mommy, did you see my shot?' and I just had to smile, nod and pretend I had seen it because, in reality, I had missed it thanks to d3 wandering off and crawling under the bleachers or following a stranger into the men's restroom. Desperate times call for desperate measures. No guilt.

Let's Party

What possessed me to think it was possible to cook AND clean for a party and expect it to stay tidy while I turn my back to prepare the food? My Birthday Boy is a 34lb human destroyer. He has a ridiculous collection of tractors, trucks and trains to play with but he would rather empty the contents of Hi Ho Cherry-O and CandyLand onto the playroom floor. Do I sense a theme here?

And cooking with small children? Brilliant idea. d2 offered to help me prepare the food and I said ‘yes.’ He must have waited until my daily pot of coffee was consumed. He knows good and well that I’m a lot more patient and I say ‘yes’ a lot more than usual when I have a caffeine high. Looking back, it probably wouldn’t have taken so long if I had done it myself. I lost count of how many times I had to stop and send him back to the sink to wash. Hands inside the back of your pants? Go wash. Nose picking? Go wash. Sneezing and couldn’t get your elbow to your nose in time so your hands caught the snot? Go wash. Hands inside the front of your pants? Go wash. And then I heard the, ‘What will happen?’ question a hundred times. ‘What will happen if I put my booger in this pudding?’ My boy is smart so I couldn’t understand why he kept asking me that question. I mean, do you really want to know the answer to that? Do you need me to verbally express to you that I will hurl you across the room if that spit you are slurping in and out of your mouth, the technique that was perfected by your father, lands in my baked beans? Guess I thought it was implied. I know this is just the phase he’s in right now, asking questions and testing boundaries but ask me a question on the transformation of a butterfly or something elementary like that. Don’t ask me a question you already know the answer and that never ends well for you. Oh, and no male genital questions, either.

In any case, little d3’s party went well yesterday. We had a family dinner and he had lots of fun. I made a cake and, in my personal opinion, it was a disaster. What was supposed to be a basketball on top of a goal looked more like the top half of a BigMac. Tinting of frosting is NO fun. I never get it to the shade I want. In no way do I believe I have a gift for baking because I just don’t. For the record, I wanted to make him an owl cake. The owl cake consisted of two colors of frosting – vanilla and chocolate. There is no manual tinting involved there. But D1 lobbied for the basketball because that’s what d3 does all day long. Yes, and he’s technically not even 2 until Thursday. At least d3 loves basketball AND he loves to eat so it was a win-win for him.







Happy Birthday, little guy! Mommy and Daddy love you to pieces! Bubby and Day-Day think you’re pretty cool, too! Oh, and feel free to slow this growing up process down...

Poop, Pants & Playtime

My family. Bless their hearts. They make me laugh, they make me cry {happy, sad and unbelievably mad tears}, but they also bring me to the point of shouting, ‘What in the world?’ numerous times a day, although a few other phrases may or may not pop into my head, depending on the gravity of the situation. I really do believe I have a sense of humor but evidently not as large as it needs to be to survive these lunatics that call me Mom and Wife.

Sunday night, D1 and I were doing bath time. We work some killer tag team action and have a pretty standard routine established. One washes while the other picks up the dirty clothing {scattered to and fro in their mad dash to the tub} and lays out the jams. This particular night, I was on Mommy Maid Duty and as I was lifting a pair of undies {poor McQueen - those racing stripes should be black, not brown}, I noticed a spot on the bathroom rug, a spot strangely resembling poop. Based on the fact that the spot is dry and hardened, I figured it must be mud. When I tell D1 that I thought it was poop, he said, ‘Oh, no. You're right. It is poop. I forgot about that. It happened a few days ago.’ WHAT.IN.THE.WORLD. You forget your lunch money, maybe even your kid at daycare. But POOP on the RUG? I just can't get my mind around how one can forget that. It’s kind of, oh, I don’t know, SIGNIFICANT.

Let’s not forget about my incident yesterday. I had agreed to swing by and grab some files from a practice located near our house and then meet a colleague, J, to hand them off. Instead of driving home, dropping d2 and d3 with D1 and finally heading out for the files, I decided it would just be easier to take them with me. I could just run in, get the files, run out, drive to the meeting place and hand the files out the window. They would never even have to un-buckle. What could possibly go wrong? Clearly I don’t give my children enough credit. As we are sitting in the parking lot, waiting for J to arrive, d2 was reading a book in the backseat. Next thing I know, J pulls up and starts toward the car. Just before she gets to my window, I turn around to find d2’s pants around his ankles. WHAT.IN.THE.WORLD. Oh, his undies were on, thank goodness, but what was I supposed to do? I could draw attention to him and yell, ‘Pull up your draws, boy!’ or I could pretend I didn’t know and hope she doesn’t poke her head in to say hello. I went with plan B and am hopeful she didn’t sneak a peek at my ‘precious children.’ I'm also grateful that d3 held on to his copy of 'Fox in Socks' and didn't hurl the board book at my head until after J got back in her car. I would like to keep up the facade that my boys are well-behaved and that I've got it together for as long as possible. Note to self: never underestimate the potential of a preschooler to mortify their mother.

Since we’re {not} on the subject of precious children, does anyone else have to play some crazy games at 3am with their itty bitty? The other night d3 woke up crying. Based on his increased whininess, chronic clinginess and fingers-shoved-in-the-mouth syndrome, my professional diagnosis is protruding molars and I’m assuming that’s what caused him to wake up in the middle of the night. As experienced parents know, there’s not a whole lot you can do for them during these times. We’ve tried teething tablets {eh, they’re okay}, Orajel {disgusting and NEVER helped our kids}, whiskey {or so I’ve heard…..} and Motrin. We usually only go with the latter {Motrin, NOT whiskey – unless someone tells me it helps?!?} if he’s inconsolable but usually with a little rocking and a lotta lovin’, he’s able to get back to sleep. Well, on this particular night, that was just not the case. I rocked him until I fell asleep, which I then felt certain HE was asleep. When I put him back in his crib, he started squirming and, though he wasn’t crying, he was on the verge. I didn’t have to be holding him, I just had to be there touching him. So I sat on my knees and stroked his hair until, again, I was SURE he was asleep. As I removed my hand and started to stand up, my good ole’ 30-almost-31-year-old knees made some awful cracking noises and d3 sat straight up. There went that. Back to my knees I went but this time I was forming a plan. Since my legs were too noisy, I decided that I was going to crawl. Because I was afraid he might still see the shadow of my back as I crawled out the door, I went out on my belly, slithering like a snake. WHAT.IN.THE.WORLD. {....and I was a little sore the next morning - you don't really practice 'the slither' in Zumba} I guess this is one way to get Mommy to play Jungle Animals. It's too bad we don't have cameras in his room. We just might have won a few bucks on my 'sneaky' exit.

I like this last story. It makes me sound like an incredibly selfless mother that can’t stand for her child to cry. In all actuality, crying doesn’t bother me. I can usually sleep through it. I just had no burning desire for the other two boys to hear him wailing and wake up any earlier than usual to join us for the BIG fun. After all, 6am is early enough. And maybe, just maybe, during that rocking session, I started thinking how my ‘baby’ will be TWO next week and that, soon enough, he won’t ask me to ‘wok’ him anymore. Though d3 was a bit of a 'surprise,' God certainly knew what He was doing. His plan continues to unfold everyday and we are simply amazed at what He has done and continues to do in the 'D' Family.

Stay tuned......

A Day In The Life....

.....of a mom of boys.

Disclaimer: The following conversations are authentic re-enactments, though a bit indecent. Consider yourself warned.

With the preschool teacher –

Ms. S – ‘Mrs. Darnell, we had a little incident today. Apparently d2 {and some of his friends} are going through a curious stage involving nudity. Today he drew a picture of his daddy. In his picture, his daddy was naked and his picture was very, ahem, detailed.’

Me – ‘Well, thank goodness he chose daddy for his art project and not me.’


On the afternoon commute –

Me – ‘Did you have a good day at school?’
d2 – ‘Yes, ma’am.’
Me – ‘What fun things did you do?’
d2 – ‘We had preschool graduation and show-and-tell. I also played on the computer. But when I got up from the computer, my winky was bigger. Somehow it grew. And it’s growing right now. Why, Mommy?’

Me – ‘Oh. Well then. Look at that big airplane. Ooh, I have some gum. Would you like a piece? Let’s listen to some music.’


Come on. Did you really think I was going to educate my 4 year old son, right then and there, on the male body and all the nifty tricks it can do? Not a chance. Luckily, he didn’t pursue it further, thanks to my awesome re-direction techniques. For the record, these convos were both in the same day. In fact, within the same hour. Lucky me, right?

I will say that when the day comes that D1 sits down and explains some of these facts of life, I might include myself in that discussion. Not so much to be a contributor but more a supervisor. Now, don’t get me wrong. D1 is THE best daddy. All three of these boys adore him. However, though he’s almost 33 years old, D1’s maturity level hasn’t quite caught up with his true age. And although I would say that he’ll be responsible for what advice or information he communicates, it will inevitably be ME that ends up in the grocery store with them, ALONE, when they decide to shout out their highly inappropriate knowledge. And it will happen.

Yes, that day described above was full of shock and stupor on my part. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have to face these types of situations but somethings you just can’t quite prepare for. This was one of them, especially the latter.

So, not only was d2 asked to not draw any more naked people followed by questions that I could not answer but then we didn’t even dress him right for his first soccer practice. How was I supposed to know the shin guards go under the socks?




I think he's still a little hacked about art time being censored....

I Want What I Want When I Want It

According to my dear, sweet spouse, yesterday’s post was about ‘nothing’ so I guess that’s my cue to step up my game and write about ‘something.’ Good news – I didn’t have to think too hard.

OK, so back it up. As I was preparing for my weekly bible study lesson, I was overcome with serious conviction as we study anxiety, fear and, most of all, discontentment. It’s so relevant in my daily life and I have a hunch that I’m not alone. There's a funny thing about conviction. It's not always an easy pill to swallow but it’s actually pretty comforting. You see, if I were not feeling convicted by my sinful actions, committed on a DAILY basis, I might start to wonder about my salvation because if the Spirit resides in you, you will feel it when you gossip, worry and doubt. Yes, we are human but these are still sins. I’m learning all about them in my bible study with some of the greatest group of girlies. Oh, and with a little help from Jerry Bridges' book titled, 'Respectable Sins.' Trust me, it’s not like I open a chapter and think, ‘Oh, YES! I can totally relate.’ It’s more like, ‘Oh, NO! I am so guilty of this, that and the other.’ What’s important is that we’re learning from each other and working on ways to make changes in our actions and behaviors that will set good examples for our children but, more importantly, to glorify Jesus. I want nothing more than to be a shining light but I’ve definitely got some work to do.

Although I’ve been able to identify with every ‘respectable sin’ thus far, this week’s topic of discontentment is very near and un-dear to my heart. It’s really sad at how I struggle to be content. I really have to pray about it and some days I feel like throwing the towel in and waving the white flag. Although I could probably name several, there are two areas in particular that I wrestle the most – my identity and my family.

I think I beat the topic of self esteem/worth/confidence to death so allow me to share the family issues. Within that family category, I have two sub-categories {us Type-A’s need lists and outlines} – I long for {normal} parents and I long for a baby girl. With all that I have been abundantly blessed with, I’m ashamed to even admit these yearnings but I’m guessing I’m not alone and to share them helps me to face them.

Though my testimony gave lots of background on my parents, I didn’t discuss the present situation. It’s not great. It’s not as bad as it used to be but it’s still strained and distant, at best. I haven’t seen my mother in almost 10 years. We speak on the phone maybe four times a year. She’s never met our boys and I’m not sure she ever will. Sure, I would like to have a relationship with her for myself but, more than that, I want it for my children. I see other kids with their grandparents, the loving relationships they have and the cherished memories they are creating and I hurt for what my boys will likely never experience with my mother. Now, I have forgiven my mother, several years ago actually. That's not a problem anymore. I don’t harbor anger towards her at all. I just hurt. I just want to be content with what I have.

Maybe that’s a big reason why I long for a little girl. A good friend once told me that I needed a little girl to realize that not all mother/daughter relationships are like my childhood was and I think she’s right. I just wish the feeling would go away. Now, I had three extremely easy pregnancies that yielded three healthy, incredibly vibrant little boys and I do not ever take any of that for granted. But for whatever reason, I can’t stop thinking about the little girl that I never had. It’s not impossible for us to have more children but last time I checked, God still controls gender selection and His will doesn’t seem to be in alignment with mine. I know there’s a reason for that. I know there is. I’m sure He knows that D1 might beat a girl for trying to escape with the word ‘Juicy’ on the booty of her short-shorts. Maybe He’s thinking of how awful that poor child’s hair would look when I attempt to braid it....or even insert a barrette, for that matter. Maybe He's sparing us both. I know full well that all babies are a blessing, that I’ve got enough disorder in my house for the next 18 years and I don’t know that there’s a burning desire to further that timeline. I just want to be content with what I have.

From this chapter, though, I've learned that contentment comes from 'accept(ing) your circumstances from God,’ trusting that He knows what is best for you. He also goes on to share a quote:

Lord, I am willing to –
Receive what you give
Lack what you withhold
Relinquish what you take

Short and sweet yet heavy and deep. And absolutely perfect. Here’s to receiving, lacking and relinquishing together…..