A Day In The Life....

.....of a mom of boys.

Disclaimer: The following conversations are authentic re-enactments, though a bit indecent. Consider yourself warned.

With the preschool teacher –

Ms. S – ‘Mrs. Darnell, we had a little incident today. Apparently d2 {and some of his friends} are going through a curious stage involving nudity. Today he drew a picture of his daddy. In his picture, his daddy was naked and his picture was very, ahem, detailed.’

Me – ‘Well, thank goodness he chose daddy for his art project and not me.’


On the afternoon commute –

Me – ‘Did you have a good day at school?’
d2 – ‘Yes, ma’am.’
Me – ‘What fun things did you do?’
d2 – ‘We had preschool graduation and show-and-tell. I also played on the computer. But when I got up from the computer, my winky was bigger. Somehow it grew. And it’s growing right now. Why, Mommy?’

Me – ‘Oh. Well then. Look at that big airplane. Ooh, I have some gum. Would you like a piece? Let’s listen to some music.’


Come on. Did you really think I was going to educate my 4 year old son, right then and there, on the male body and all the nifty tricks it can do? Not a chance. Luckily, he didn’t pursue it further, thanks to my awesome re-direction techniques. For the record, these convos were both in the same day. In fact, within the same hour. Lucky me, right?

I will say that when the day comes that D1 sits down and explains some of these facts of life, I might include myself in that discussion. Not so much to be a contributor but more a supervisor. Now, don’t get me wrong. D1 is THE best daddy. All three of these boys adore him. However, though he’s almost 33 years old, D1’s maturity level hasn’t quite caught up with his true age. And although I would say that he’ll be responsible for what advice or information he communicates, it will inevitably be ME that ends up in the grocery store with them, ALONE, when they decide to shout out their highly inappropriate knowledge. And it will happen.

Yes, that day described above was full of shock and stupor on my part. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have to face these types of situations but somethings you just can’t quite prepare for. This was one of them, especially the latter.

So, not only was d2 asked to not draw any more naked people followed by questions that I could not answer but then we didn’t even dress him right for his first soccer practice. How was I supposed to know the shin guards go under the socks?




I think he's still a little hacked about art time being censored....