Stepping Out

Um, yeah. You must be mistaken. Move to Boston to help start a church?

Nope.

Not me.

Why?

Well…uh…for starters…I just moved. Like, last year. As in 10 months ago.

Oh, and bee-TEE-dubs…I HAVE FOUR KIDS {ignore above photo}.

All of these excuses {and a thousand more} have plagued us throughout our decision process but God has been so gracious, reminding me of two things:

1) it’s not all about me {ouch!} and

2) He will give us exactly what we need when we need it. I just have to let go and do what I can do so that He can do what ONLY He can do.

This is not the full story of our journey. At the stage that our family is in right now, I just don’t have time to sit and give it the attention it deserves but I am journaling along the way so that one day we can share with everyone because there is SO much. However, a couple days ago I was hit with such conviction in a moment where I was second guessing our choice that I just had to share. {PS – I have those doubts often. Every day, really. And I think it’s okay because it forces me to rely on God’s promises and trust in His faithfulness.}

So, back to this moment I had. I was driving down the road, listening to the radio when an old song came on and it was like my mind was in a time machine. As Toby Keith sang, I was filled with memories from a period in my life where I had no hope. Zero. Zilch. None.

I won’t go into details but if you want to know more, here’s my story. It all boils down to this – the Lord fought for me. Though I endured much, He spared me from so much more. I am what some might consider a statistical anomaly. Not because of anything I did but maybe because He knew that one day my family would do the work that would bring glory to His name.

Once again, I am reminded that He uses the broken to reach the broken, which is perfect because I was definitely broken…and, in many ways, still am…but I know the One who redeems and restores.

So how, then, can I even consider anything other than a life that declares His work in my life? How can I overlook what has been given to me? How can I sit idle?

It’s easy. I can’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am terrified. And there is so much to plan. And some people think we've gone straight cray. {And we're basically moving to the middle of the Arctic Circle...!} There are certainly days when I have those blowing-into-a-paper-bag panic attacks as I consider the to-do list of finding houses, jobs and schools. All minor details, of course. Fortunately, even in my worst hour of worry, God fills me with an overwhelming sense of peace and I know it's His way of saying, 'I've got this.'

Besides, if we were able to see the path clearly set before us, would it really be stepping out in faith?