Oh the Memories

We did it. We actually made a trip back to Missouri and had no major drama on the drive. This means one of two things – either my boys are reaching new levels of maturity or I’m moving into a state of oblivion. Or perhaps a little of both. And note that I said no major drama – in our family, there is always something to write about. Oh and I only took one picture on Thanksgiving from my phone so if you’re reading this post for pictures, turn back now.

We kept our normal schedule of leaving after work on Friday and driving for a couple of hours before stopping for dinner in NC. This time we chose to keep it classy with a hearty Shoney’s seafood buffet just outside of Asheville before continuing along on our 14-hour overnight journey.

Yes, I do realize that there are plenty of dining options but we just seem to ‘fit’ in at Shoney’s and don’t get near the stares from the fellow patrons when the little people are feeling flamboyant {unless it’s 7:00 on a Tuesday morning and we’re interrupting the Red Hat Club’s weekly breakfast meeting}. Although, now that I write that, I am remembering the older couple sitting across from us, not speaking to each other but instead studying their smart phones intently, and clearly annoyed by the loudness of our table. Maybe it was throwing their concentration off in their evening Scrabble game ….I don’t know.

After Dayne got spooked by Shoney the Bear and Dagen announced to the dining hall that his daddy needed to take a pill so that he could eat the fish without having an allergic reaction, we paid the bill, took a potty break and headed out.

And speaking of potty breaks, we had to take a few more than usual on the way out and, for whatever reason, they begged to not go inside the truck stops and just pee-pee in a cup. Now, after our Disney drive, I was not looking to make this a routine part of our traveling but it’s really a lesser of two evils – either I smell the odor for a minute and pray their cup doesn’t runneth over OR I wonder what sort of germ they will pick up on the door handles of the public restroom so whatever…..they peed in a cup and I got over it. It really is easier. There, I said it.

Have I mentioned that I don’t sleep at all on the drive? Dallas doesn’t seem to have any trouble when it’s my shift {and why would he? I’m awesome behind the wheel!} but I just cannot seem to fall asleep when he’s driving. I don’t know that it’s entirely because his driving scares me but it could have a little to do with it. I mean, come on. Whenever I do finally fall into a semi-REM deep sleep, it doesn’t take long for Dallas to run over on those loud shoulder bumps that will sit you straight up in your seat with fear. After that happens once, I’m done. Oh well, right? Don’t get me wrong - I want to meet Jesus but preferably in my sleep and not going over the side of the Smokies. You know, if I have any say at all….

As we were rolling on I-24 through Kentucky, I recognized a familiar exit and was taken back a few years. Have I ever shared with you the craziness of our move to SC? I’m not talking about how the whole story played out to how our move came to be but the physical relocation. I flipped through some old posts and I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about it and simply must because it is definitely unforgettable. No, wait. Unforgettable sounds peaceful and romantic and this disaster was anything but peaceful so we’ll go with notable.

Ahem. We pulled out of the Show-Me-State with Dallas driving a 24-ft U-Haul truck {pulling our little Saturn on a trailer} and me driving a Dodge Durango with the two boys. Given those memories alone, I almost have a panic attack. Dagen was already excelling in his stellar interrogation skills and Davis had just given up his paci. Oh wait, that sounds like he willingly handed his bink over and said, ‘I’m done.’ It was actually a novel idea from his father that he gives it up before he turned a year old. He clearly wasn’t thinking about the two-day trip ahead of us me.

Day one ran fairly smooth, all things considered. Or so I thought. Somewhere along the way, just a few hours before we hit our destination for the day, we stopped off in Kentucky to fill up both vehicles. And this is where it got interesting. You see, this monster of a motor vehicle that was carrying our life inside also happened to be sucking some serious oil. Each time we stopped for gas, we also had to fill it with oil….and put the cap back on. That would prove to be a key step in the process.

A few miles down the road, we decided to break in Kentucky – Calvert City, to be exact – and stay the night. If memory serves correctly, we only chose this as our stopping point because the boys were screaming and we weren’t sure how much further we had until the next food-and-lodging options would appear {sigh! – this was before the iPhone maps existed}. It was definitely NOT because it was visually appealing. Anyway, we pulled into our motel, locked up the vehicles and hit the sack.

The next morning, we got up, ate our complimentary continental breakfast courtesy of Super 8 {don’t judge – it was a fairly clean establishment, especially given its redneck locale} and headed out. We had a busy day ahead of us that included a trip to the Nashville Zoo and we wanted to get a good jump on the day, considering the scorching temps they were calling for in Tennessee on the first day of June.

Here’s where it got interesting. Here’s where I about lost it. After Dallas loaded me and the boys up in the Durango, Dallas jumped in the U-Haul only to find that it wouldn’t start. Ruh-roh. He got out, popped the hood and probably wanted to cry. Or so I assume. There, in the oil spot, sat the last oil container he had used in place of the cap.

His first thought was that he blew the engine because he ran it out of oil but, before jumping to conclusions, we just decided to drive over to the local auto parts store and buy a cap and a quart of oil. And so after waiting a good while for them to open for business {remember, we were up and at ‘em very early in hopes of leaving early}, we finally got our supplies and headed back to Super 8.

Only the cap didn’t do the trick. After several attempts, the truck still wouldn’t start. At this point, we’re pretty sure that Dallas’ forgetfulness was going to cost us our boys’ college funds from blowing the engine on this beast. We had no idea what to do so we called the 1-800 service number for help. Much to our surprise, they told us they would send out a technician to assist. Oh but it might be an hour. No problem. We can wait an hour. Three {3} hours later and lots of quality time at McD’s PlayLand, the good ole’ boys from U-Haul arrived to help us out.

After Dallas explains to good ole’ boy #1 what we know to be true about the pre-existing oil leak and the recent events of the missing cap, GOB #1 got in and started it right up. What the…..? How did you do that? ‘Y’all didn’t have this there truck in the parking gear.’

Excuse me? Come again? I mean, clearly I should have been singing songs of praise that the engine wasn’t blown but I plead temporary insanity. All I was thinking was, ‘YOU.HAVE.GOT.TO.BE.KIDDING.ME.’ And I may or may not have wanted to shake my sweet, loving husband but I didn’t. All I really recall was saying, ‘Let's go NOW.’

Whatever. We made it here, we love it here and now, as we travel back for visits, we can giggle about it but I assure you, I was not giggling at the time. It was 90 degrees at sunrise and my children were incapable of understanding our delay. Dagen had one thing on his mind – zoo animals – and I was not able to convince him that McDonald’s was a great temporary consolation, at least not until I whipped out cash for their famous apple pies and French fries. That might be when we realized that feeding Dagen junk food would forever be speaking his love language. Listen, you do what it takes to survive….

There’s really nothing left to share about that trip. I mean, what could follow that mess that would be worthy of remembering? Let me answer that for you - NOTHING.