A Teachable Moment for Us All

Warning: The following was not intended to be a short novel but it is what it is. And if you don't want to hear biblical truths, you might want to skip on over to another blog. This might hurt.

As you know, most of the conversations I have with my boys these days go in one of two directions. Many times I’m screaming behavior-modifying them {doesn’t that sound so much nicer?} in my GI Jane military voice - ‘Please remove your underwear from the table and put them back ON your body. The birthday suit is not acceptable attire for dinner, especially on the cloth-covered seat cushions. We have enough stains without the addition of your dirty hiney.’

And then there are the other exchanges we have where one of them is telling a story and, due to their age and inability to use discretion, it turns out pretty comical -‘Why is Grandma so moley? It scares me. I don’t want her sleeping in my room when she comes to visit. She might leave some of her moles in my bed.’ {For the record, I’m not outing my mother-in-law on her skin tags; they told her this when she was here last month so she’s fully aware of how it freaks them out. She happens to find it funny herself. Just wanted to clear that up.}

This next conversation falls into its own category and I don’t really know what to call it yet. I guess I could just call it the ‘teachable moments’ – it’s not disciplining because there’s no ‘crime’ being committed by the child but it’s definitely not comical.

In the car to school:


Radio Announcer: ‘…….last night, a robber broke into a home and stole several large appliances…..’

d1: Mommy, are robbers bad guys because they steal appliances?’

Me: ‘Well, they are breaking the law so I guess you might say they are bad guys.’

d1: ‘So they’re going to the bad place when they die, right?’

Me: {still not picking up on the ‘moment’ here – I’m a little slow in the morns} ‘Not necessarily. Just because they break the law doesn’t mean they don’t love Jesus. Either way, I'm sure it makes Jesus very sad at their actions.’

d1: ‘But if I’m good, if I don’t steal and if I help my homeless friends, I’ll get to heaven, right?’


Let me stop right there. Although I should have seen where this was headed, it took me a second to realize his thought process and how incredibly important it was that I answer this correctly and biblically.

So basically what I’m hearing my seven-year-old ask me is that if he is a good boy and does a few charitable projects in his life, he’ll spend eternity in heaven? NO BUENO. This is, in my opinion, a lot of what is wrong with the world today where churches are concerned and it’s two-fold. People either think that their salvation is determined by how they conduct their lives {‘I’m doing okay as long as I’m ‘better’ than the next person’} or they think they aren’t ‘eligible’ for salvation because they’ve already done too many ‘bad’ things.

It just so happens that I fall into the second category. See what happens when you come from a background like mine? You can identify with so many jacked up situations, although I have a feeling a lot of people can relate here.

For 20+ years, I felt like I was not good enough to be one of those ‘Christian folk.’ Those people always seemed like they had it all together – the clothes, the kids, the careers, the whole package. {PS - I’m learning that the more they look all put together, the less they probably are}. And since I've never managed to have it 'all together,' I didn't feel like I fit that mold. It didn’t help when I had encounters as a teen with religious people who condemned such things as wearing jeans in the sanctuary. Because God cares what I wear? Really? I mean, if He didn’t want me in my nicest pair of Levi’s, why on earth would he want me with my reviled past?

Or how about this one? This is another true story of how the ‘church’ rejected me and likely led to my distaste for any and all churches in general. I was about 13 or so. My brother and I lived with our grandma off and on during my mom’s jail stints. My grandma was an amazing woman but that’s another post. Anyway, when we stayed with her, she always liked for us to go to church with her. I didn’t usually argue with her because there were cute boys in the youth group and I liked boys. Hello? I was a teenage girl. One night at youth group, I remember talking to one of the boys. I can’t tell you what we talked about now and it's irrelevant. However, I do remember the youth group pastor coming over to him and asking him to move away from me, to find someone else to talk to. The boy didn’t understand – I mean, we weren’t holding hands or trying to sneak a peek. We were talking. He asked why and this youth pastor whispered in his ear, ‘Just move. You don’t want to get mixed up with her.’ Too bad his voice carried and his whispered words were felt to the core....

I mean, dang. Who says that? I’m not trying to run this pastor down. I’m sure he’s a nice man and had his reasons. After all, I’m a mother of three little boys. When they are teens, you better believe I will be psycho-stalking every last one of them to know who, what, when, where, why and how they think they'd get away with whatever they're up to but that’s beside the point. It wasn’t about the boy. It was about the way that pastor made me feel. I’m sure the staff was familiar with our home life and we were probably on the many Sunday School prayer chains but I felt like dirt after that. In hindsight, I think about how, had that conversation gone a little differently, had that pastor reached out to me the way I now know Jesus would have, it could have been a changing point in the trajectory of those next ten years of my life. See my ties to that second category? That one whisper that I guess I shouldn't have overheard left me with anything but a desire to know God. If it meant I would feel like garbage after an evening with the church folk, no thanks. I’ll pass.

I'm just constantly reminded that, as followers of Jesus, we need to make sure we’re not sending out either of these messages to our kids and to the entire world, especially those who don’t know the Lord. I do NOT want my boys buying into either one of these ridiculous shenanigans that have infiltrated the church bodies, neither of which are biblical.

D1 and I will spend our lives making sure they know that salvation is never an earned reward. Ephesians 2:8 says that ‘God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.’ I know now that salvation has NOTHING to do with works. I know that I am saved by GRACE and that nothing that I do will ever be enough but that doesn’t mean that I stop working for the glory of God and for His Kingdom.

It means that because of my faith, I will continue my works. James 2:18 outlines it perfectly. Check this out. ‘Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” This used to confuse me but now it’s very clear. Our salvation is not dependent on our works but, by our salvation, the works will come. John 3:3 says the same thing – ‘Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.’ His words, not mine. That is biblical.

Secondly, we will make sure they know that, although no one is ‘good enough’ to go to heaven, it is designed for everyone. EVERYONE. Even that guy out robbing old people’s homes for their Fridgidaires. Even the lady turning tricks on 2nd Street to support her family. Even THOSE people. ESPECIALLY those people. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Anyone heard of John 3:16? It says “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.’ His words, not mine. That is biblical.

OK, we know that salvation is not dependent on our good deeds, right? I think we've established that much. However, that doesn't mean we just stop and become stagnant. There’s this catchy phrase I heard recently – Found People Find People – and I think it’s dead on. By serving others, in whatever capacity you feel led, you are serving the Lord. You are showing those in need that you are helping without expecting anything in return. When you're doing this, there's a good chance that they will want what you have. Meaning your joy and happiness, not your Coach purse. Whether you’re serving the homeless, mentoring or adopting a fatherless child or volunteering with the elderly, you can make an impact. Our family absolutely believes in the power of serving others in need {Isaiah 58:10}. We only wish we could do more and we continually ask God to reveal opportunities and use us to be a light for Him. It only becomes an issue when someone believes it is their path to salvation, which is where my son’s mind was headed.

I'll be honest and admit that, although I know and believe all of this, it's still difficult for me at times. I struggle with thinking that I have to be involved in this, that and the other to serve God adequately and that's just not true. I know that He wants me to do all that I can in the most effective way possible. I know that I have to be open to opportunities He presents in my life, some that may be way out of my comfort zone. I know I need to be patient and let Him direct my paths. Too bad I stink at having patience. I guess this is yet one more area that He's working on in me.

After giving it some further thought, I realized something else. d1 knows about heaven. He knows how you can and can't get there. Maybe he doesn’t fully grasp the enormous concept of the Trinity {do you? Because I don’t} but he knows what he’s been told and what he’s learned over the years at home and from his SS teachers. He knows that the only way to forever with Jesus is by receiving Him in his heart, believing in His power and seeking a deep relationship with Him. So why would he ask me that question about getting to heaven?

I'll tell you why. Satan was all over my boy. He wants him to question his child-like faith that is growing by the minute. He wants him to believe that which is not true. The worldly views are pushed on our children left and right and, as parents, we need to be on high alert for this mess. Spiritual warfare is at its peak - just watch the news for any given two-minute interval and you'll know that. We’ve got to be prepared for battle. These little people need us to have their backs against the Enemy – gear up, friends!