Time Traveling

It's 8:43 on a Wednesday night and I'm just now finding the first opportunity to sit down and take a breath. Well, that's not completely accurate, either. For several reasons, I am not breathing well at all these last few days. I think it's mild panic/anxiety, it's been going on for the last five days and I am confident that it is associated with recent events. Let's work backwards, starting with today.

Wednesday - Slept in until 6am, got up, cooked the usual Wednesday breakfast. This week I took requests and obliged the little people with monkey bread. Packed everyone up, dropped d1 off at school, drove in to the office, walked d2 and d3 to their classes, got back to my desk and logged in. As I was taking my last sip of Almond Joy-flavored coffee, I tasted something in my mouth. I pulled it out and studied it. Gosh, it looked a lot like a little people booger. Of course they are different than adults - they're smaller. Obviously. Right then it occurred to me that I had asked d1 to hold my coffee cup when I was getting in the car. No, I don't think he....ok, yes, I do. Beyond that, the work day was fairly normal, really. Things changed, though, when I picked d2 and d3 up from preschool and noticed that d3 is not acting himself. Great. Wonder what sort of nasty parasite he's ingested now. Although he's had a cough for over a month, this is different. As we walked to the car {and since d3 is not battling me to walk alone, I am certain he truly is sick}, I got a text from D1 that d1 had another bad day at school. Lovely. I got home, walked in the door, kicked my shoes off, ran upstairs to talk to d1, called MinuteClinic, gave d3 some Motrin, put shoes back on, took d3 to doc-in-a-box, listened to him verbally assalt the nurse practitioner as she is examining him {'You MEAN!}, received the otitis media diagnosis, filled the script while he loudly filled his diaper in the cough and cold aisle, walked back in the door, gave d3 a bath while listening to D1 drain the other tub and start over with their bath because, yet again, d2 peed in the tub, put all boys to bed and got ready to relax except....oh, wait for it. A couple of weeks ago, I must have been delirious or feeling invincible, or both, and signed up for cupcakes AND, per his request, agreed to make d2's valentines by way of lollicakes. Two dozen of each, to be exact, and tomorrow's the big party. Of course it is. Obviously this wouldn't have been an issue had we not had the last-minute sick visit thrown in the pile but c'mon, man! The cupcakes aren't that hard as they were certainly not elaborate but these lollicakes....geez Louise, people. I'm trying really hard to find times where I can answer 'yes' when the boys ask me to make these types of items because I know it's important to them but next year, if I even utter the words 'homemade' and 'valentine' in the same sentence, feel free to punch me in the face. Seriously. From here on out, it's store bought and tattoo valentines all the way. I'll find other ways to say 'yes.'

Rewinding to the weekend --

Sunday we had our normal routine of church and lunch and then had a special treat of our family photo shoot with Lena Poulos. We won this free shoot in a contest with our 'classy' Christmas card picture so since it was a beautiful spring-like day in February, we headed to a local park for some outdoor shots. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't say it was a total disaster because I haven't seen the pictures yet but I can only hope that she was able to snap a few that she can work with in between d2's sneezes that resulted in massive snot rockets to the near misses of the boys falling into the fountain. And then there was the non-stop, never-ending fight over the ball that Lena brought as a prop. She was just trying to help the situation. She just didn't realize that I birthed the Hammer Brothers. I wanted to take a knife to that ball after 10 minutes because all they did was fight over it. Really? You couldn't care less about the 47 balls that you have at home so why now? Really? I just wanted thirty minutes, an hour at the most, of cooperation to which I got maybe 3 or 4 minutes. d3 wanted absolutely, positively nothing to do with looking at the camera so if she got a good family shot and he's not in it, so be it. And one day I'll tell him why. Or I suppose I just did.

Backing up further to Saturday -- after the normal morning full of basketball, we made some stops at the grocery store and another local store. As we came out of the last store, I noticed chocolate all over d1's face. I was confused because I didn't remember us giving him anything. It's because we didn't - he TOOK a chocolate coin from the second store. And by took, I mean he stole. There, I said it. My 6-year-old is a clepto. Yes, I was ticked but the fact that he had chocolate all over his face did make me laugh, temporarily anyway. I mean, he can't even steal without making a mess. So, of course, we sent him back in to pay for his item but not before he realized that he broke the law and he might go to jail. Though we knew the truth, we didn't argue. He needed to worry. And he howled, 'I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.' Thankfully, the lady was very kind, he paid for it and apologized. As we drove home, we talked to him about how very wrong it is and explained that there will be consequences for his actions. When we got home, D1 took him upstairs, talked to him further, and told him to remove his coat so that he could take care of his spankings. d1 said, 'No thank you, I'll leave it on.' After going back and forth a few times, it occurs to D1 that he is hiding something. That something was a package of chocolate donuts from BiLo. Unbe-flippin-lievable. And so the shoes went back on, the coat went back on and D1 took d1 back to BiLo to return the stolen merchandise. Once again, d1 bawled, prayed and pleaded, 'God, PLEASE don't let them take me to jail! PLEASE!' Because I wasn't really sure how to handle this problem, I called BiLo and talked to their staff, explained what happened and actually asked for a manager to put the fear of the Lord into my child when he came in to return the donuts and that's exactly what she did. {Side note: D1 didn't know I called so imagine his surprise when this manager layed into d1....} When they returned home, he ate lunch {'No, you may not have another corn dog. You don't get seconds in jail.'}, went to his room {where all he could do was read and sleep}, came out for dinner, and went back to his room for the night. Throughout the day, D1 and I would go up and spend a few minutes with him, sharing some scripture that addresses lying and stealing and praying with him. Some time last year, we purchased an awesome book called Parenting with Scripture and it has been a wonderful tool. In this last week alone, we have referred to it several times for guidance and am certain more times like these are in our future. Here's hoping we won't need the section on stealing again. Until now, I haven't told many about this. I guess I was embarrassed, though anyone I have told says how normal it is but that's not how I felt. My first thought was, 'What are we doing wrong? Where have we failed him?' It's true, I still struggle with those thoughts but I know that, ultimately, I need to hand over my worries to God. Do my part as his mother, set an example and use those teachable moments wisely but in the end, God has to transform his heart and I'm just here merely as a guide. No one EVER told me how hard this parenting thing really is but we are definitely getting a good taste of the challenges.

Any question on my anxiety issues right now? I didn't think so. Wouldn't a Xanax help me? Or a Valium? I've never had either one but I've heard good things....


Oh wait, I forgot something else about this morning. Post breakfast, pre-booger scene. Just before D1 left for school, I asked him to corral d1 and d2. They were, at that particular moment, fighting over who has the bigger weenie. Or rather, whose was NOT the smallest. I made D1 get them under control and when I was in the kitchen, I heard, 'No more weenie talk. They are both big enough.' You're jealous of me right now, aren't you? I know. It's okay. I'm a lucky girl.