A City Girl Can Survive

I survived.

A bear did not attack me, a bug did not bite me and I did not have to substitute dry leaves for TP. And for those things, I am extremely grateful.

However, it wouldn’t be an accurate reflection of our mini get-away if I didn’t share the minor details.

On our way to the state park, which is about 45 minutes from our house, we passed a Starbucks. And, since I was driving, I decided that, yes, I would love to start my trip off with a Salted Caramel Mocha latte, thank you very much. Especially since it was cloudy and cool and the weather people were forecasting chances of rain. Aside from a forest fire or being invaded by skunks, that would probably be right up there as worst case scenario for me so I was praying that the rain stayed away. And it did, thank goodness.

As we made our way up the hill to our campsite, I will admit that I started to have difficulty breathing. Because of the elevation changes? Okay, I’ll go with that. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that, with every turn, I watched the bars on my phone decrease. Not power bars but service bars. Once we reached our ‘stomping ground,’ I not only had no signal, I had the dreaded ‘No Service’ indicator.

Seriously? No, really. What am I supposed to do all night? I can’t get texts? No status updates? This is 2011, after all. Where are the towers? Surely someone at AT&T can climb a few oak trees and set something up. After I had a speedy meltdown alone, I did what I had to do. I turned my precious little friend off for the night and proceeded to unload.

We spent the rest of the evening visiting with friends while the kids played football. After dinner, we did what was probably my favorite part – roasted some ‘mellers and made some S’mores. I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in those darn things and I enjoyed every last drop.

Soon after that, we headed to our tent for the night. Oh my word, it was painful. And cold. Not the see-your-breath cold but a damp cold, nonetheless. Although the tent was set up on an official camping pad specifically designed for tents, the ground felt like a concrete pad. We only had blankets under us {no sleeping bags – we’re amateurs, remember?} because an air mattress wouldn’t fit. After we all lay down, we covered with about three blankets along with scarves and hoodies.

Five minutes after we are all buried in blankets, d1 says he smells something on his hand. We told him to just forget about it, that it was probably something from his last bathroom trip {ick!} and to just go to sleep. Then he jumped and said something was crawling on him. We put a light on him to find he had smashed half a spider and was holding the rest of the remains in his hand {he thinks he smelled his blood - what in the world?}. That gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling that makes you want to go back to sleep, doesn’t it? Good thing I couldn’t if I wanted to.

Thinking back, it’s funny how my fears changed. Before we headed to camp, my fear of going to sleep in the tent was that I would wake up in the belly of a wild beast. Once we actually got there and lay down for the night, I realized that I was more afraid to turn over for fear that I was going to hurt my back. Now if that doesn’t show my age…..

In any case, the night was long, I woke up bruised on each hip from attempting to change positions BUT I did not go to the van. Yes, I am quite proud of that.

And I’m not the only paranoid fool in the family. The next morning, when d1 heard a dog bark, he popped up and said, ‘Was that a coyote?’ We said no and he laid back down. A few minutes later, someone was using a hammer and he popped up again and said, ‘Was that a gun? Is someone shooting at us?’ I guess the apple doesn’t fall far, huh?

After breakfast with the friends, we set out for a hike. As much as I’m anti-nature, I can’t deny that it was some beautiful scenery. We made it to the first ‘check point’ up the mountain and headed back down. I did enjoy it but I did also have anxiety over every single step the boys took so 0.5 miles was plenty.

We headed back to the camp site, ate some lunch {we did A LOT of eating in an 18-hour period, which was awesome!} and then headed back home.

So, in the grand scheme of things, I would call our overnight camping trip a success. I did enjoy the fresh air and the feeling of having NOTHING to do. Will I be doing it again anytime soon? Not in a tent. A camper, maybe, but not a tent. I’m too old for that mess.








**Dear Table Rock State Park Marketing Department,

False advertising is not cool. Your website said Wi-Fi capabilities but it didn’t say that the Wi-Fi is only available within 50 feet of the front gate. Let’s go ahead and add a disclosure statement to your brochure to prevent any further headaches and breakdowns from loyal customers.

Signed,

Not So Happy Camper

{Just helping out my fellow FB/Twitter/Pinterest addicts…..}