Five Days of Disney - Day One

We’ve been back from Disney four days now and everyone is anxious to know how our trip went. At first, I was honest. Probably too honest. Now I’m wondering if maybe I sound too Debby Downer-ish instead of Opal Optimistic. I mean, everything I’ve said is the truth but maybe I should look for the positives in every situation and try to repress the mentally and physically challenging times.

In any case, if you are looking for a review that shouts shiny, happy people, you might want to Google another mom’s recount. And, for the record, that Opal lady HAD to have been medicated or with nanny, both of which I will definitely consider on the next Disney attempt.

Ahem. Day one. This was actually travel day but I think it deserves a spot in the Five Days of Disney because I survived day one without a nervous breakdown and that in itself is a flippin’ miracle. We, as frequent road travelers, have always, ALWAYS, aLwAyS driven at night when the boys were sound asleep. Exhausting, yes, but so worth the peace and quiet. Well, for whatever reason, we thought maybe our boys had morphed overnight into pleasant little people and decided to make the 8 hour trip down in the daylight. EPIC FAIL. Enter my nightmare with me. I am not a patient person, I realize this, but I have to believe even the most enduring would have broken down…..

*Ten-Second Tom {aka d3} either says, ‘Mommy?’ or ‘I see Minnie Mouse’ or ‘Gizmo poop’ every 30 seconds. NO EXAGGERATING. It started about 30 minutes outside of Greenville and never ended. I even took a video clip but Blogger is not cooperating with me so I can’t upload. Bummer. I really needed you to hear this insanity. Muzzle anyone?

*d1 and d2 can’t keep their hands off of each other and it is anything but affection. I really think they hate at each other at this stage in their lives. Or at least at this point in the summer since they’ve been with each other, day and night, for almost two months. They were pinching, hitting, biting, slapping, kicking, spitting, farting, etc. You name it, they did it. They napped for about 20 minutes of the drive and asked the infamous, ‘Are we there yet?’ question. They were kind enough to change things up a bit with, ‘How many more hours?’ in between the many requests for food and drink. I brought snacks for the ride down but it’s like they thought I was a short order cook in the front seat of the Odyssey, turning their noses up at peanuts and Goldfish. I mean, the options are limited on a road trip.

*We didn’t make it two hours before everyone was hungry and antsy so we stopped off to eat at BoJangles. We ate a quick lunch and, as we were heading out, D1 said he needed to use the bathroom. He goes in and comes right back out. Apparently he wasn’t able to ‘take care of business’ because there was a man occupying a neighboring stall and he was making very strange noises. What? Just go in and get it done. He refuses. So we leave and drive next door to Pizza Hut. Again, he runs in and is out in 10 seconds. WHAT NOW? Well, this time it’s a solo potty and the door won’t lock and that just won’t work for him, either. At this point, I am slightly irritated and can’t understand how this can be so difficult. Oh and he refuses a gas station. OK, help me out here. You need to go in and POOP – why in the world are you searching for a Ritz Carlton toilet? You're going to POOP. Oh, but then he sees it. And he gets so excited.



‘That’s it. Right there. Take me to the hospital. I bet they’ve got clean restrooms.’ So there you have it. Those who wondered what the check-in at Lexington Medical Center was all about may be a little disappointed. No broken bones, no stitches – just a man in need of a sterile commode. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a fan of truck stops or anything covered in other people’s excretions but something like this should not be so complicated, would you agree? In hindsight, I think he would admit that he should have just dealt with the whimpering man at BoJangles and been done with it.

The rest of the drive was just more of the same nonsense from the back seat. Oh but with the added fun of d2 needing to potty while we’re cruising on I-95 through Jacksonville. We’re not keen on the idea of stopping in the ghetto but he insists he has to go so D1’s idea is a McD’s cup. Fine but since he’s driving, I’m the lucky one to hold the cup and it would be just like him to tap the brakes for fun. Fortunately, he spared me that nastiness but within 10 minutes, d2 had to pee again and filled yet another cup. Although none spilled on me, it might as well have because the van reeked of urine. It would have been a shame if D1 would have mistaken his Sprite for the ‘other’ cup…..

We arrived safely but were absolutely out of steam, to which we decided we would never drive during the day again. To go to the glass-half-full perspective, we did pull in to this community where my uncle owns a vacation home and it was utterly amazing. Though we definitely stuck out like sore thumbs, it was nice to pretend. We said hellos to the family and headed for bed. We had a long day two ahead of us.....