Traveling + Small Children = Nightmare

The title should say it all but if you are still curious to know all the details of our trip, proceed. But beware - this is probably not much of an encouraging post. In fact, I'm writing this more to remind myself to never attempt it again with a small child. And now I know why kids under 2 are free. No one in their right mind (even the greedy greeds) would make someone pay $200 AND have to endure. That would just be cruel. Although I will admit - I would have paid the plane fare if it automatically granted me a well-behaved child but those aren't being offered just yet. I'm thinking it might involve some sort of opiate -- for mother AND child. Good news is we should be able to fly again in about 3 years because d3 will be 4 and, for sure, there will be no more children born from this mother. I was 99.9% sure before this weekend - now there is zero question. D-O-N-E.

Oh and another thing. I have very few pictures despite the fact that we were attending a wedding that my husband and son were in. Oh, I brought the camera but no memory card. I didn't realize until MUCH later that it would still work and capture the memories. Just perfect. So any pictures I have are either from my phone (before it broke - just one in my list of small catastrophes) or from others who snapped shots.


OK, so where to begin -- chronologically, I suppose.

Thursday night, we grabbed a quick dinner at BoJangles and headed to GSP, where we were scheduled to leave around 5:55pm for a short 30 minute express flight to Charlotte (NO, we could not just drive to Charlotte and fly direct to KC - that would actually make sense. Keep reading. My frustration on that subject will resurface later on the flight back). So we prepare to board the itty bitty --





We taxi out to the runway and all appears to be going as planned. That is, until the dreaded announcement comes over the loud speaker - 'Sorry folks, we have no idea why but there appears to be a delay. We're going to shut the engines off to save gas - get comfortable and we'll keep you posted.' Get comfortable? Where? And guess who was the only family on the flight with a baby? I think it's safe to say that no one wanted to hear that broadcast but I would bet the people seated in front of us were the most disappointed. Not only did they have d1 kicking the seat from some nervous twitch he seems to have taken on but d3 is antsy and wanting nothing to do with any of my edible distractions. I packed every type of snack possible, which is ordinarily the way to his heart, but by the time the delay was over (lasted 30 minutes but felt like 300), he had gone through a tasting of each and was done with them. Isn't that great? What in the world will we do on the next flight that is nearly 2 hours long? Guess we'll be chemically assisting him to sleep with the help of Benadryl. The rest of the flight went okay - d1 and d2 played their 'portable electronic devices' and were excited with the surprises that awaited them in their backpacks, d3 just squirmed and whined.....


Welcome to Charlotte-Douglas International Airport - where the stellar logic continues. We get off the first flight and prepare to find our connecting flight, only to see that the gate is on Concourse B......and we are currently on Concourse E. And we have 10 minutes to get there before our flight leaves. Not boards, LEAVES. So, with three four boys and eight bags, we high-tail it to the other side of the airport. I'm fairly certain we resembled the 'Home Alone' family in a mad dash to our plane. We could have had a faster pace if d2 didn't like to randomly stop and people watch because then I had to stop my slow-jog and pull him along. We get to the gate, at which time the flight attendant says 'You must be the Darnell's.' See - we were THAT late. We board the plane and I'm pretty sure the same guy that was constantly kicked on the first flight and is now on the second flight wants to throw himself out of the emergency exit. And he has good cause. Turns out Benadryl has zero effect on d3 -- perhaps maybe even the opposite -- because he turned into a monster. I have never seen him throw down the way he did -- exorcism, anyone? I was in tears, he was screaming.....everything I feared this trip would be. So we struggle through that craziness and he finally falls asleep with about 15 minutes of flight time left. d1 and d2? ANGELS - thank goodness! They were the ONE good thing we had on that flight. Just when I thought we had survived without the criticism or ridicule from our fellow passengers, the guy in front of us turns around and asks how old d3 is. We tell him and he decides to open his mouth wide and insert his foot - 'Yeah, I have a 9-month-old at home. I can handle my own child crying but I just can't stand listening to others.' Really? Did you really just say that? Did he really just say that? D1 says my look must have clued him in to my potential explosion because he followed up with 'Oh, but he was fine. No big deal.' Damage done, dude.

OK, so I'm glad that nightmare is behind us.....for a few days anyway. We arrive, our friends pick us up from the airport and graciously offer up their SUV to us for the entire weekend (thanks, J&L!) and off we go to another friend's vacant home to sleep. By this time it's about 11pm and the boys go right to sleep. And so do we. Unfortunately, we have a human alarm clock at 5am -- about 2.5 feet tall, 30lbs, yells 'Da-eeeee' until we pull him from his pack-n-play. After some wrestling in bed with us, he finally falls back asleep....just as the other two rise for the day. At this point, we realize just how long of a day it's going to be. We pick up tuxes, make a couple of Target runs for forgotten items, visit some family, visit some friends, attempt some naps and off to the rehearsal. Since D1 is the best man, I'm flying solo (and in heels, which becomes a struggle very soon) with all three and trying to keep them quiet and somewhat civilized. d3 is constantly trying to make a get-away and when he is sitting on my lap, he's dumping his Teddy Grahams on the carpet of the soon-to-be ceremony hall and then taking pleasure in stomping on them. And chucking his juice that is definitely NOT spill-proof. And then d2 is trying to rehearse his part as ring bearer but I can't seem to keep d1 from following behind him everytime he walks down the aisle. He would whisper in his ear, 'That's not how you do it. You're walking too slow. I've done it two times. It goes like this.' So I was trying to keep d1 in his seat and keep d3 from screaming. And the sweating begins....in the heels. What's a mom to do to keep their hineys planted? I do what anyone in their right mind would do - I come down to the child's level and I open my goodie bag and pull out some earlier purchases from Target -- Junior Mints and Halloween light-up toys. Listen, I'm not proud that their pre-dinner was mint-flavored chocolate candies but 1) Grandpa was coming to kidnap them for the night and 2) it worked. And soon after, Grandpa arrived and the night went smoother.

Wedding day arrives. We had the chance to sleep in since boys were still with the grandparents. I say 'have the chance' because we didn't actually do so. I would have but 'someone' woke up and thought he would flip and flop in the bed until I woke up, too. I mean, really. We NEVER get to sleep past 7am. So we got up, head to Target again, grab a Starbucks and enjoy some alone time. And then it's time for the big show and it was awesome. A & T planned an amazing wedding and everything went off without a hitch. d2 was perfect and extremely handsome. It was too cute seeing him stand up there in the same line as his daddy, especially because looking at him is just like looking at a mini-D1. Here are several pics from the wedding (not from my camera, though) ~













The reception was a lot of fun. There was a photo booth for the guests to enjoy (and a scrapbook created for the bride & groom) and we got lots of souvenirs. Particularly a lot of souvenirs of d1 -- they eventually had to ask him to stop because he was going around to every table, asking complete strangers to take a picture with him just because he loved making silly faces in the booth. Goob. We got to spend time with so many of our friends that we dearly miss and it was just a great time. And D1 tore it up with his dance moves to 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia.' He was pretty hysterical. And we all busted out in the Cha-Cha Slide and the Cuban (I stand corrected - my husband informs me it is called the Cupid Shuffle)....and I was beginning to wonder if my toes would ever be the same after his size 13 foot kept making its way to my dainty little piggies. That man can be so clumsy but at least he didn't discriminate -- he stepped on everyone's feet.










Notice all the pictures I have and none show off the dress. Or rather none that show the size of the person in the dress. My whole weight loss goal was for this wedding and merely to give myself a target and timeframe to work hard. After lots of spinning, zumba and boot camp classes at the Y and many meals where the main ingredient was lettuce, I did hit my goal and lost 15 lbs. I'm thrilled to be where I am -- I haven't seen these numbers on the scale since high school -- but I have to gripe because, well, I'm pretty good at it. Why oh why does the weight have to come off in the wrong areas? My bubbies must have been half the weight I lost because they are deflated, like someone let the air out of them. If that was the case, I would really have liked it to have been a little lower in the body. Okay, I'm done complaining.


So, let's finish this post and go out with a bang. We headed to the airport Monday around lunch time and prayed for no delays or major issues. As we were going through security, an older man patted me on the shoulder and told me I was entitled to take my time since I had three little ones and that they were blessings. I was just hoping he would be sitting next to us on the flight.....and also occurred to me that he might retract that last statement if he had such luck. Once inside the gate, I bought some bananas for the kids.....I paid $1.19 EACH. A few obscenities might have gone through my head but I was bound and determined that we were getting back to some form of nutritious meals considering all the junk we had consumed for 3 days straight. As d3 was eating his nana, we gave him Motrin in hopes that it would work differently than the Benadryl. Wishful thinking. A few minutes later, another older gentleman asked me if I feel like the ringleader in a circus, referring to my crazies running around. He chuckled but I'm thinking he was laughing at me and not with me. Oh and here's a good one. Just before we board the plane, I reach in my bag to get something and all I feel is moisture. Seems d3's sippy cup (you know, that one that is 'spill-proof') got tossed in the bag but with the lid only half on. So now everything in the bag - camera, diapers, SNACKS - are all wet, sticky and smell like apple juice. (Sorry Laura - no stains, only a fresh apple scent.....)I don't even get mad at this point. Why bother, right? Fortunately, the plane ride wasn't as bad as the last one but d3 wanted no part of sleeping....or snacks....never mind sitting still. He did temporarily enjoy playing with the swizzle stick in a cup of ice -- that is, until he realized he could get attention by throwing the ice. Oh and he did like taking one piece of cereal, squatting down and hiding under the seat. He did this for awhile so I'm sure there's quite the little dry goods supply under there of my trail mix if anyone ever bothers to vacuum. We were hoping it would continue longer but he just reverted back to the crying/whining/screaming. However, no one took it upon themselves to share their inner most thoughts on how much they despise crying babies on this flight so I did find that to be refreshing.

Last bit of this trip I want to be sure to remember was our little stop in Charlotte on the way home. Again, where is the direct flight, people? We had 1.5 hours to eat so we grabbed some Burger King dinner (Healthy resolution lasted 3 hours. Grease always makes me feel better....temporarily.) and headed to our gate, only to find our flight delayed 30 minutes. And then another 20 minutes. Do you know how frustrating it is to be delayed in an airport that is an hour from your home and there is nothing you can do about it? We tried blocking the boys in an aisle with our luggage but they still managed to climb/jump/run all over the place, having 'sword fights' with blankets and coloring books. As long as I could see them and they weren't (fatally) hurting themselves or others, we just let them do whatever. I usually like for strangers to think I have some sort of control over these kids but let's be real. I had lost that four days before.....