Back To The Basics

If you have followed my blog for awhile, you probably know that I am a brutally honest person. Some may call it a fault; I happen to think it's a strength. I'm just being 'real.' If you want my opinion, I'm happy to share it with you but I'm not a big fan of 'sugar-coating.' That's not to say that I'm purely a black-and-white person. I do see shades of gray every now and then, in some areas. Although I really do like black and white together - it gives a bit of a classy, elegant look. The paisley look, especially in weddings. The wedding we went to recently had lots of b&w and it was absolutely gorgeous......ok, where was I going with this? Oh yes, being real. Ahem. This is a 'being real' post because I'm making myself a bit vulnerable about our real-life struggles as parents. Of course I would love for you all to think that we have the perfect life, that we never argue, that our kids are total rule-abiding little people who never spew sassiness or have manic meltdowns....you know, modern day Cleavers. Who wouldn't. {For the record, I don't believe they exist.....and ETA - I wrote this before Mrs. C passed away this week.} I think my honesty comes from the desire to help anyone out there that may be facing similar struggles. I know that, especially as a parent, it helps to know someone else is in the same boat and that it's not just my little heathens wreaking havoc on my sanity, that others are sweating it out, too, and that we're all going to survive this phase. And from experience, a glass of Zin and a soak in the hot tub does wonders.....just sayin'.

Get to the point, Darnell. Last Friday we met with d1's teacher for the quarterly teacher conference, which is also student-led. Let me preface this next section by telling you that we really like his teacher. She is a Christian mom of two grown boys - she understands boys and how they tick. We are thrilled. Okay, so at the conference, Mrs. H went over his academic work and we couldn't have been prouder - our 1st grader reads at a 2nd grade level, his math work is great, only 'concerns' are his penmanship {which, in my opinion, isn't that bad - I can't distinguish between his and D1's most days, and that includes spelling.} Then we went into the behavior section of the conference. Make no mistake - we did not go into this meeting with unrealistic expectations. We know our child. He is smart and witty. He likes to make people laugh and is a people pleaser. Those are some of his positive attributes. He is also extremely LOUD, isn't really a fan of raising his hand and is a bit bossy. Oh and he does have a tendency to whine so when she brought these up, we weren't surprised. We explained that we battle the same things at home and that we're working on improving these areas. I honestly attributed most of it to his age, birth order, strong personality, GENDER, etc. Then she dropped a small bomb - his peers know him as THE tattle-tale of the class and he has also recently made a friend cry by making fun of her name. I think this is when Momma Bear started crawling out of her cave, and maybe because d1 put his head down and was on the verge of tears. My son may not follow all the rules, may be a bit over zealous at times and may have an issue with vocal volume {and yes, hearing has been checked} but he is a good boy and still my baby. He has a big heart with a sensitive soul, even if his recent actions don't show it. It just made it clear to us as parents that we have some areas to zoom in on so that we can help him be a good student and friend. It was hard to get upset with him when it just feels like we've failed him somehow. d1 is, after all, our 'science project.' We can only hope we have all the kinks worked out by the time d3 goes to college.....

I really let this get to me all weekend. I have always thought that there has got to be someone out there that has done this parenting thing right and has all the answers. Then it hit me. There is a place to go for all the answers. It's time to get back to the basics. It's time to get back to the Word. Really get into it and apply it to our daily lives with our boys. Scripture-based guidance is what we've needed all along. There is no better resource. I know that God has blessed us abundantly and He doesn't make mistakes. This is no coincidence that these blue-eyed boys belong to us. Some days - fine, most days - are challenging and utterly exhausting but we were chosen to be their parents and we will not let them - or Him - down.