Disney Or Bust

Maybe I was feeling brave when he called. Or maybe I was overdosed with cough and cold medicine and somewhat delirious. I can’t really remember. Either way, when my Uncle J called a couple of months ago and invited us to spend a week at Disney World with his family, I said yes. Of course I waited to give a final answer until I talked it over with D1 but who are we kidding? I knew he would jump on it. What kid doesn’t want to go play at WDW? I’m pretty sure he’s more excited about it than d1 or d2 but that shouldn’t surprise anyone…..

Whether or not I’m second guessing that decision is irrelevant. We are going. In July. Yes, I know. Insane. But if I’m going to look at the bright side of that brilliant idea, I anticipate dropping at least two pounds of day from the amount of sweat I will undoubtedly expel. Anyway, Uncle J has a vacation home in Orlando that is large enough to accommodate us and his family and will save us a huge chunk of cash. Hip hip hooray for the free stay! Not to mention the fact that we don’t have to pay for airfare because we are just a short five hour drive from the Happiest Place on Earth, which is nothing for this nomadic clan. It’s a pretty sweet deal all around, although pricing these park tickets does tend to make me a little nauseous. After paying for four tickets x four days, we may have nothing left for food. We may be eating Chicken Helper and Spam sandwiches but, by golly, we WILL have Mickey’s autograph and we WILL ride Space Mountain, not to mention the enormous amount of memories we will create while there.

So, my fellow bloggers and readers, I’m looking for tips. It can be from your own personal experience or something you heard while standing in line at the post office. I don’t care. I am just looking for ways to make this vacation great, despite the fact that I have two chronic complainers and one short stack that insists on showing me his disappearing act. I’ve been making a list as I hear them. I think I even came across a blog devoted to surviving Disney trips with small children, which that in itself tells me we’re in for a real treat. I’ve heard it wise to spend the money for the double strollers and to dress your kids in bright clothing so they are easy to spot if when they get separated. What else ya got? And preferably not, 'DON'T DO IT!'

A Habit and A Hobby

When I was pregnant with d1, I read a lot of books, magazines and articles on parenting. No, a lot. Some were very helpful and some were just plain evil and only escalated my new mother anxiety. I really thought I had read everything and would know what to do in every situation until the day the children went away to college. Funny, I know. The very definition of naïve.

Though I have learned a bazillion new things in the almost-seven years that I’ve been a mother, I never really thought I’d have to house break my child. Oh, not where the potty is concerned. We've managed to really succeed in that area {but I have a feeling d3 will want to be 'unique' when it comes time}. I'm talking about chewing. As ridiculous as that may sound, we have recently had to remove Woody from d2’s room because he has munched away the rim of his cowboy hat AND his nose. It was rather puzzling altogether but even more so that he chose his nose. I mean, why not the boots? They are long and pointy. You would think the nose was a little more work to gnaw on, given the fact that Woody doesn’t have a Pinocchio honker. And d2 is not really a nervous little feller. He has the carefree personality of the bunch but, for whatever reason, he’s taken up this new hobby. I don’t know. Maybe I should review his diet. Clearly there is something missing, though last time I checked, plastic was NOT added to a major food group.

Actually, as I think about this, I think he has too much time on his hands at night so he must be doing this out of boredom. Since he naps in K-4, he isn’t tired at bedtime and, though we could push his bedtime back a bit, the other two require a little more sleep so we put them all down at the same time. While d1 is out in minutes, d2 will lay in his bed for a while, sometimes up to two hours after we put him down, until he finally drifts off to sleep. I expect this will end next year when he starts Kindergarten and no longer has his little siesta. Lawd, I hope so. Maybe then he’ll cut down on his new habit…..

…..and his new hobby of spitting. I’m not talking about the normal, male-rite-of-passage spitting where it begins and ends in three seconds. Oh no, my son is an overachiever. Have you seen the movie, ‘Big Daddy’ where Adam Sandler ‘adopts’ a little boy and teaches him how to do ‘the thing?’ Here’s a recap for those having trouble recalling it up in your memory bank..



Good news, friends. The 'Big Daddy' in our house has passed on the same tips to d2. Oh and he's pretty good at it. I imagine he perfects his skills late at night after he's all gnawed out. I noticed it last week when we were at an 80th birthday party for D1’s uncle. Great place to find out that your son has that sort of gift. I’m sure I was just beaming with pride.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all! This year was probably the best one yet with my guys. I woke up to a text alert of below video. Is d3 a kook or what?




So I followed their instructions and went into each room to find these.....



Each hand made card held a GC to my favorite places - Starbucks and Panera.

I did want to zero in on one of the cards in particular. d2 has a history of inappropriate descriptive drawings and this one is no different.



Though he drew in some additional 'parts' for me, he was advised to color over said area. He was sweet enough, though, to put me in high heels but I'm a little curious as to my new figure. I mean, I'm no Olive Oyl but really?

Then I came downstairs to a bouquet of flowers....



Gifts....



They know me so well, they even made me Mommy Coupons....



My boys really are THE best!

The Beauty of Beads

Last Friday night, I attended a 'Royal' themed jewelry party. We played dress up*, ate yummy fondue and watched recaps of Prince Wills and Kate wed in royal fashion. And then we shopped....a lot! I got myself a few things but also knocked out some Mother's Day gifts as well.

My friend Kendra has all the pics and specifics so go here to read all about it. It's really an awesome story, the goods are NOT expensive {at or even below local sales prices on comparable products} and I cannot think of a better way to spend my money than by supporting a Jesus-loving momma who just wants the best for her little boy......

If you are interested in having a party, hit me up and I'll get you in touch with Alissa.

*Girls, can we have one of these every Friday night? I loved playing dress up and I enjoy a little make-believe but the only pretending my little d's are interested in involves ninjas and nunchucks.....and I'm just not a big fan of either.

Car Line Convos

Today's version of 'Darnell's Say the Darndest', brought to you by your local sponsor.....


d1 – When did you graduate?
Me – Thirteen years ago {gasp!}
d1 – When did you get married?
Me – In 2003.
d1 – Why did you marry Daddy?
Me – I married Daddy because I love him. He is an amazing man.
d1 – Amazing? Really? Even when he farts? Because he does it all the time.
Me – Well……you do have a point. How about we keep that to ourselves and not share with the class this morning…..


As far as I know, d1 didn't go and share the specifics on his father's flatulence. Seriously, though. What is it about the car that sparks conversations like these? It wasn’t that long ago that I was subjected to pre-pubescent interrogation.....




This man I call my spouse is something else. It’s hard to describe him. Take the above picture, for example. The little boys didn’t suggest the goofy face – he did. Who else thinks he looks a little too much like Gilligan? {good call, Angie!} He is absolutely the ringleader in this little circus of ours. Sometimes it makes me insane. He does still find 'tooting' as funny as the 4-year-old but my research tells me that is the consensus with ALL males, young and old. Sure, finding his underwear on the kitchen counter makes me see red. Watching him ‘slice’ d2’s neck with the NerfAxe while wearing the Storm Trooper helmet and SuperMan cape has me wondering if he licked a can of lead paint as a child. Sometimes I want to strangle him for his childish behavior. I mean, is it any wonder why the children {not just ours} flock to him? HE'S STILL A KID. And yes, far too often I find myself screaming ‘GROW UP!’ but the truth is I love his sense of humor. I love watching him run like Forrest Gump. I love when he makes up dances from out of the blue. I absolutely love everything about him.

Note to self: tell him a little more often.

Love you, Big D.

A Royal Pain

In honor of the Royal wedding that took place this morning across the pond, I give you 'A Royal Pain'....

I was flipping through some pictures the other day and came across one that brought back memories. Memories of sanity, even if I didn’t think so at the time. Memories of symmetry, where we played man-on-kid action with a 1:1 parent-child ratio. I can’t find the electronic copy of it and my scanner isn’t hooked up so I can’t show you but picture it -Sicily, 1924 {oh wait, that’s Sophia’s line on Golden Girls – oops!}. Rewind……picture it – Greer, 2008. I am the mother of two {2} {dos} fine, young men. We are enjoying a day in the sun at Century Park, taking in a t-ball game of d1. We, as in me and d2, since D1 is coaching. In this picture, I see my two-year-old d2 sitting so nicely on the bleachers, slowly eating his Teddy Grahams. I recall the sweet sound of him cheering his ‘bubby’ on. Oh, the memories.**

Let’s fast forward three short years. We’re at Century Park again, it’s still sunny, d1 is playing ball again and I still have a two-year-old {ok, a different one, obviously} but that’s the end of the parallel. That’s where the similarities stop. This is every Thursday night but, since last night’s recollections are still so dreadfully fresh in my mind, I’ll recount the ‘fun.’ I sat our lawn chairs next to the dugout in a way to barricade d3 in {which, P.S., he doesn’t find nearly as awesome as I would like him to} before heading to the adjacent park to burn off some energy prior to game time. When we came back to our sectioned-off seats, we watched the first pitch take place and then the cooler of chow was introduced. Most people bring a pack of crackers, maybe a bag of grapes for their toddler to snack on. I bring a buffet. No, really. Last night’s spread consisted of sandwiches, Goldfish, banana cookies, Ritz crackers, raisins, Twizzlers, chocolate eggs, applesauce, juice and water. Keep in mind that this is not an MLB game lasting 3 hours. We have a time limit of an hour-fifteen and yet he still blew through it all. And since he exceeded my expectations on his consumption, I pulled out my last resort – a sucker. No, I’m not against suckers but he just turned two and hasn’t had one yet. That helped hold his attention for a few additional minutes and I have made a mental note to bring multiple flavors next week…..and to buy extra-strength kiddy toothpaste before then.

After the grub is gone, I pulled out some toys from my bag of tricks. I even handed over my beloved iPhone and d2’s GameBoy {unbeknownst to him} for him to do whatever he wanted. Sadly, by the end of the 2nd inning, d3 was done with all of the above. I realized that we either needed to walk around or our fellow spectators would be treated to a full-fledged meltdown. But there’s this thing about d3. He’s an over achiever. In the words of Forrest Gump, if he {d3, not Forrest} is ever going somewhere, he is runNING. And he is fast. For a Shorty McBee with a St. Nick belly {from all the nutritional manna his mother provides}, he sure can disappear in the blink of an eye. I’ve already played the role of ‘Frantic Mother Searches For Lost Child’ last season in the same park and I really wasn’t interested in letting history repeat itself so I cannot, for one minute, lose sight of him. For the most part, I was triumphant. I mean, he did escape a few times but was quickly found. The first time he broke away, I found him trying to climb a very steep set of stairs. The second time, he was trying to enter the door of the concession stand. And the third {and fourth} time…..well, let’s just say he was only trying to be a part of the team. Just not our team. See below.



Thanks to BAC for the picture. It’s a sweet picture of her oldest boy, W, after wards where he was awarded the game ball for exceptional effort. Way to go, W! So, admire the picture and then follow the fuchsia arrows. Up top, you will see d3. A little down and to the left, you will see a box of chips. Where is Mommy? Oh, you won’t see me in the picture. But if we zoomed in enough, you would see that ornery little grin. Yes, he’s looking right at me and, if he could clearly speak, I believe he would be saying, ‘Come get me, Mommy. Here I am. But you won’t be able to catch me. Na-na na-na boo boo!’ And the significance of the chips? Well, on more than one occasion {the third and fourth times noted above}, I was removing his hand from that chip box. Or rather placing the chips back in the box. Our field was on the right side of this picture. The left side was another team and another team’s snack box. I was trying to pack up our chairs so that the next group of spectators could come in but every time I turned around, he was right back in the box. The nice team mom in charge of the beloved box of goodies eventually just told us that he could have one {after all, he had managed to get one bag open and she probably didn't want his leftovers} but I politely declined. I have my pride. Oh, who am I kidding. I should have just thanked her and went on....

Since we have many a Thursday nights ahead this season, I am re-evaluating my options. I’ve got a few things up my sleeve starting with the kiddie harness. Yes, I’m sure he will just love that. I'll take suggestions. Clearly this third child wants to keep me on my toes. Keep in mind that my goal is to please him AND watch my boy play ball. If I’m not watching the game, at least out of one eye, I might as well be in the comfort of my filthy home. I realize my expectations are a litle high for his age. I've already identified myself with that truth so let's not beat it to death. I am determined to make it work and pray that next year it gets easier. What can I bring, aside from a pony ride or a life-size Gobstopper, that will amuse him for an hour?

And I thought last year was bad.....pfft.


**{Confession - I do vaguely recall an incident following that picture-perfect photo when d2 flipped off the bleachers backwards. However, I prefer to revel in my fantasy world for a few minutes before I revert back to reality so, if you don’t mind….}

In Living Color

A little over a month ago, I was approached by a friend to tape my testimony. She is a mental health counselor in a local high school and has a student that has a similar background to mine. She wanted this student to hear where I've been, what I've been through and who I am today. Now, thanks to the work of Alex Reynolds and Taylors First Baptist Church, my story is now more than just words. It's alive. I pray that God will use it to reach those hurting and hopeless. He is GOOD!

Click here to watch the short video.